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| The Escapades of Kiorein and Pals! Season 2!; It's Escapaderrific!™ | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 11 2009, 03:20 PM (4,192 Views) | |
Kiorein 
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Jan 11 2009, 03:20 PM Post #1 |
Italic Legend
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Escapades Season 2 Season 2! With all the wackiness of the first season! Recaps for Season 1 Entire Season 1 Escapades outlines the adventures of Kiorein and his assortment of friends. Centered around Kiorein's house and the idea of "roommates forever", this group of friends gets into a massive amount of trouble and really shake things up. Most of them are considered totally or partially insane, while those who aren't might just be attracted to the excitement or influence of the group. Or, maybe they are just desperate. And maybe, perhaps, they want nothing do do with the group and are actually being harassed or attacked by them. Characters: Characters who live at Kio's. This makes them main characters.: Kiorein Kiorein is the closest thing to a main character that this show has. Although not a normal person, he's probably the most normal person out of the group. He's also quite rich, through ambiguous means. Even though he's rich, he doesn't buy much with his money and still constantly looks for bargains and good deals. He's also a master architect and construction worker; he can design and build an entire house in a matter of minutes. He really hates doing that, though he has to when his house gets completely destroyed. And his house gets destroyed often. Instant Fox The resident homicidal maniac. He pulls his gun and fires upon people at the slightest annoyance. Willing to do almost anything to get his hands on a P'zone, or money. Oh yeah, he's a fox. He's also got a magic cloak which he does magic with. Also, if you call him a furry, he'll kill you dead. Totally. Stairmaster A very needed and bipolar stairmaster exercise device. Doesn't really do that much ever in times of emergencies. How he walks, eats and holds a gun are all mysteries. Noone wants to know or needs to know, either. Painting Painting is almost as sane as Kiorein. However, being sane doesn't stop you from being a jerk. Painting is a kleptomaniac and proud. He'll steal something without a second thought. It's like a natural thing for him. Enolc A clone named by numbers, in the order of which he is cloned. Cooker Cooker's a chef who works at Pizza Hut. He hates every moment of it. As a true chef from another land, he can not understand the concept of enjoyment of the Pizza Hut P'zone. He makes it his life's effort to make the people of Whereverweare enjoy real cuisine, and he's willing to die trying. He's likely completely sane, unlike most of the rest of the cast. Mofir A 3 month (and counting of course) old chao with the ability to grant wishes and casts curses on his birthday. One with per day, though. His birthday is only 10 days from his 3-day ago birth, because it's based on his original birth, not his reincarnated birth. Quite mischievous but still very much sane. Often pushed into the background until the next wish day, because of his size and powerlessness. Jofir A hyper-active guy. When given twizzlers and/or coffee, he is considered so highly dangerous and destructive that he puts the Hulk to shame. On Earth, anyone charged for giving Jofir these two stimulants is sent to the gallows. Important characters who don't live at Kio's.: Zaph Everyone's favorite lab guy! Too bad people don't like lab guys... He comes up with wacky inventions. and when I say wacky, I mean it. Probably only considered insane because he makes such inane devices. Enolc #1 The perfect man. The other Enolcs were a failed attempt at replicating him. Although he's perfect, he's still a jerk. He won the election for President. Who knows what kind of assholish laws he will create. Honest Kio A clone of Kiorein and a master shyster. How he got the ability to rip people off is unknown. He acts coldly and almost appears inhuman. Schnippshly. Der Time Travelling Nazi. Always ready for the next World War 2, as is made obvious by his outrageous outfit. He always wears a gas mask for no reason. Khrene The winged monkey of Earth. Sometimes he's sane, sometimes he's not. Also known as "The Cleaver", "Beef Mastah", and "Mooch "(for his tendencies of buying things with Kio's money). Did I mention that he's a monkey... with wings? He's always getting arrested for no reason. And he's not even African American. Murderman Master of murder. However, he's not a maniac like you'd expect. Unimportant characters...: Reginold Baxterly A delightful fellow with a monocle who loves to have coffee and tea whilst he talks about his many adventures in Afrika. Robogun Version 4.0 Beta A robot gun with legs created by stairmaster using Zaph's character creation machine. It uses piercing ammunition. Xon Brathe An irritating assassin boy. He's obsessed with anything Japanese and will go ahead and use Japanese name suffixes and phrases. However, despite being this annoying wannabe Japanese guy, he's still quite skilled in combat and can even go toe-to-toe with Murderman. Detective Dick Crowley A badass early 1900s detective who talks really low and fast and has the camera in his face all the time and weird lighting plus he also has a fedora. Klepto Short-lived villain that Painting created with Zaph's character machine. Apparently has mind powers and has an infinite sack of stealing. Luckily noone thought it wise to crack any sack jokes. P'zoney A happy and friendly, living P'zone created by Instant. It was shortly eaten a live. And then hours later eaten alive again after being resurrected. Naruuk About the least cool guy ever. Usually killed on sight, making his appearances rare and short. MEGAWALLET Usually abbreviated to Wallet. It's Kiorein's wallet, it can talk and transform into nearly anything. Can also hold unlimited money. Digman A valiant warrior poet of the subterranean. Well actually he just is really good at digging. BUT HIS DIGGING IS LIKE BEAUTIFUL ART. Expositionman Has the amazing ability to explain aspects of the plot. Episode Exclusives Spoiler: click to toggle Characters without any appearances. Spoiler: click to toggle Edited by Kiorein, Jul 10 2009, 02:53 PM.
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| Stairmaster | Jan 11 2009, 03:50 PM Post #2 |
Italic's Flare
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Previously on Kiorein and friends "We've got you now GT!" shouted Kiorein as he and the gang surrounded the wizard turtle. "Return Zee chao to us now" Added the stereotypical Nazi, Schnnisply. "Never!" Replied GT as he grabbed Mofir and ran for the his magikoopa helicopter. "Oh no!" Shouted instant, "Curse our inability to fly!" and then they pouted as GT took off in his helicopter. All seemed lost. But then... "Never fear!" shouted the muscular and attractive Stairmaster as he drove past the gang in his super cool sports car. He then drove up a ramp flying through the air and collided head on with GT's helicopter. The crew gasped in horror. "ALAS POOR STAIRMASTER HAS SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO STOP THAT VILE MAGIKOOPA" exclaimed Painting as he then stole something incredibly petty. "He was the best of us," stated Kiorein. But then, out of the fiery wreckage, emerged Stairmaster, carrying Mofir and smoking a cigar. "Looking for this?" Stairmaster asked as he handed the wish granting chao to Kiorein. And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Painting who was eaten by a computer. ****************************************************************************** "And that is how I defeated the Magikoopa and saved the day!" concluded Stairmaster. Everyone stared at him in confusion and anger. "That's not how it happened at all!" replied Kiorein, angrily. "And what proof do you have?" Asked Stairmaster. "Ahem." GT replied. "Well maybe there were a few factual inaccuracies, but I am not some sort of perfect memory man!" Rebutalled stairmaster. "'Curse our inability to fly'? Man, I don't speak like that!" replied Instant. "And 'Stole something petty'? I stole like a 700,000 carot gold diamond from his castle. And I did not get eaten by a computer!" added Painting. "That part was a prophecy," explained Stairmaster as a computer leaped through the window and devoured Painting. "You didn't even say anything about me!" complained Khrene. "I thought ze portrayed mein character quite well" said Schnippshly. The mob was getting increasingly angry. "Look, I took a few artistic liberties. Who cares about little teeny tiny details like personality?" stated Stairmaster. "You weren't even there for half the fight. You just ran out when he started flinging fireballs!" shouted Kiorein. "ARTISTIC LIBERTIES!" Stairmaster desperately replied. "HOW'S THIS FOR ARTISTIC LIBERTIES!?" someone shouted as they hit stair in the back of the head with a Honest Kio's honest folding chair. And then everything went black. Opening sequence! ESCAPADES OF KIOREIN AND PALS STARRING: KIOREIN KEVERETH AS HIMSELF RODRIGUEZ AVILES AS INSTANT. ADOLPH SCHNIPPSHLY AS SCHNIPPSHLY. WIZENHEMIER AS GT THE MAGIKOOPA. Stairmaster model number 6785-343-32532 AS STAIRMASTER. AND MANY MORE BARELY BASED OFF A NOVEL BY KIOREIN KEVERETH. PRODUCED BY ITALIC NETWORK And the episode begins! Edited by Kiorein, Jan 11 2009, 04:02 PM.
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Kiorein
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Jan 11 2009, 04:15 PM Post #3 |
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Italic Legend
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Episode 1: Democracy Schemocracy. It was another ordinary day at the Kevereth estate. Instant was in the backyard, burying some dead Enolcs. Kiorein was the TV room, angrily going over the budget; frowning at the outrageously high bills. Painting was nowhere in sight, probably off robbing a bank or something. Cooker and Mofir were in the kitchen, cooking up something that was probably incredibly delicious. Khrene was also in the kitchen, slaving over some ridiculous sandwich request that Kiorein made. Jofir, Enolc and stairmaster were by the TV, and once again Jofir was trying to convince stair to go to the Twizzler Factory. "Oh, come on, stair, let's go to the factory!" said Jofir. "No! The tour is over anyway." said stair. "Coooooome ooooooonnnnn...." whined Jofir. Stair sat there stonyfaced, trying to watch TV. "Cooooome oooooooonnnn...." "Demmit Jofir! Shut up!" he snapped. "Cooooome oooo-" stair shot him. "Oh come on you should know by now that your guns won't kill me." Suddenly, on the TV, some kind of important news bulletin came on. "This just in, the country of Whereverweare has just been sworn into democracy! An election will take place in one week!" "An election? Pfft, did they really need to interrupt my shows for this?" said stair. Kiorein suddenly stood up from his budget desk. "Did I hear... election? It's always been my dream to be president! I'm definitely running!" Edited by Kiorein, Jan 11 2009, 04:35 PM.
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| Stairmaster | Jan 11 2009, 04:20 PM Post #4 |
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Italic's Flare
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"Democracy killed my father," replied stairmaster coldly and then shrugged it off "Hey it's been my dream to be president too!" "Hey it's been my dream as well!" Exclaimed some guy. Unfortunately, he was hit by a meteor at that exact moment. "Kio you can be vice president of my administration since you lack leadership!" said stair. Edited by Stairmaster, Jan 11 2009, 04:29 PM.
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Kiorein
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Jan 11 2009, 04:30 PM Post #5 |
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Italic Legend
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"Your vice president! I'm insulted!" snapped Kiorein. Instant walked in with a muddy shovel over his shoulder. "What's all this excitement about." "I'm gonna be president!" yelled stair. "No! I AM!" snapped Kiorein. They both got all close, glaring. Khrene walked in with a sandwich. "Here's your sandwich, Kio." Kiorein took the sandwich and peeled up the top bread, examining the inside. "WHAT? I specifically asked for no mayo!" he threw it to the floor and stomped on it. "B-but, you sai-" "No excuses!" Khrene frowned. "Anyways, Khrene, you gonna vote for me?" "I can't..." he said. "WHY NOT?" snapped Kio. "Convicted felon." "Oh... uh. What did you do?" "NOTHING! I got arrested for no reason! I'm on wanted posters all over the city!" "Well, anyways... I'm off to campaign. I guess I should look for a Vice Prez first." Kiorein walked off. |
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| Stairmaster | Jan 11 2009, 04:31 PM Post #6 |
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Italic's Flare
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[This post is missing and can be restored. But I am lazy.]
Edited by Kiorein, Jan 11 2009, 05:08 PM.
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| Khrene Cleaver | Jan 11 2009, 05:02 PM Post #7 |
Italic Regular
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Khrene and Jofir went with Kio, but not campaign with him. They both went different ways from Kioein and each other. "Man, I hate being a felon. It seems the actual criminals never get caught... THAT'S IT!" After a trip to Honest Kio's Hat and Trench Coat Emporium, Khrene went to meet a 'friend' in the sleaziest part of the city, in a dark alley the one that's next to the Quizno's. A sleazy shadowy guy in a trench coat and hat and such. Only his red eyes could be seen, and they glowed through his coat and hat. The man said "So, Cleaver right?" "Yeah." Khrene replied. "You're looking for an assassin, right? Here's your man." The guys says as he handed Khrene a slip of paper with a phone number on it. "Thanks." said Khrene as he took the paper and slipped it into his pocket. Stairmaster then headed off, looking for Jofir. Jofir, on the other hand, was merrily walking down the street. He suddenly heard a call from a van. "Hey kid, you want some twizzlers?" Said the vioce. "OH BOY DO I!" Jofir replied. "Then hop in this van." "Sweet!" shouted Jofir as he complied with the mysterious driver's request. Then the door shut and van drove off. Edited by Kiorein, Jan 11 2009, 05:11 PM.
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Cleavers aren't just for juggling anymore!
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| Stairmaster | Jan 11 2009, 05:04 PM Post #8 |
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Italic's Flare
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"How'd I get in this van?" Asked stairmaster. "Oh well" Stairmaster said as he pulled out his Kiorein hand puppet and put a twizzler in it's hand. He then pulled out a camera and filmed the kiorein handpuppet giving Jofir a twizzler. Hours later or whenever Kiorein walked by a television set he would find to his dismay an attack ad featuring this footage. "Is this the sort of man we want leading whereverweare? This election vote for stairmaster who will have kiorein executed in a high publicity flashy showtrial" The ad explained. Edited by Stairmaster, Jan 11 2009, 05:07 PM.
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| Khrene Cleaver | Jan 11 2009, 05:18 PM Post #9 |
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Italic Regular
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Khrene un-trench-coat-ified wilst walking by an electronic store, saw this breathtaking footage and watches in horror. "Oh my god! why would Kio do such a thing!" He ran into the store to watch it on the big plasma screen. The beautifully clear picture enabled him to realize that "That's my Kiorein hand-puppet!" |
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Cleavers aren't just for juggling anymore!
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Kiorein
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Jan 11 2009, 05:18 PM Post #10 |
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Italic Legend
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"Playing dirty, eh?" said Kiorein, dismally. "I know just who to go to!" He ended up at Zaph's lab. "Zaph! Be my vice president!" "You're running for President!? What!? Do you know anything about politics... or [o]anything[/o] at all!?!" "Oh, sure I do!" "Uh. Well, what's Inflation?" "That's easy. That's when you, like, put air in a balloon." "No, inflation as in economical inflation." "...Like when you put air in a balloon!" Zaph sighed. "No, Kio. I'm not going to support your campaign." "Well, at least lemme use your Character Creation Machine TM. "Wha? No!" Kiorein walked over to it and typed something in. A robot emerged from it, with the inscription "Campaign-o Bot 5000". "All right, Campaign-o Bot, go make some posters to defame stairmaster." The robot headed off and began to print posters with a grayscale photo of stairmaster kicking a puppy. It had the words "Is this the kind of... machine, thingy... that you want to rule you? Vote Kiorein, do yourself and your country a favor." It also had the Kiorein campaign logo, Kiorein's head grinning and giving thumbs-up. "...this isn't going to end well." said Zaph. |
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Pregga Zexas 
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Jan 11 2009, 05:24 PM Post #11 |
Italic Veteran
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Schnippshly was sitting on a couch watching TV for the first time ever, AND HE DID BEHOLD UPON ITS SHINING SCREEN A COMMERCIAL MOST INTERESTING! "Whereverweare is a Democracy now and it needs a President! Don't be a pansy! RUN FOR ELECTION TODAY! Theelectionwillbeheldinoneweeknotforpeoplewithheartconditionsorwithchild." "One week? Zat is der shtupidest thing I haf ever heard. Zat is not enough time for a good campaign. But it is more than enough time for a shoddy, questionable campaign destined to fail!" Schnippshly shouted as he jumped up from the couch, destined to never sit in it again. "I SHALL BECOME PRESIDENT OF ZIS DEMOCRACY AND TURN IT INTO A DICTATORSHIP UNBEKNOWNST TO THE CITIZENRY WHO WILL DO NOTHING EVEN IF THEY DO BEKNOWNST!" He then joined the Green Party and became their candidate for President of Whereverweare. |
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| Stairmaster | Jan 11 2009, 05:31 PM Post #12 |
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Italic's Flare
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Later when stairmaster saw these posters he was dismayed. But he knew how to get back and it would not be pretty. Later that night at the Kiorein campaign headquarters that kio purchased with his money. "See you tomorrow Campaign-o Bot," Said ted the security guard two weeks from retirement. "See you voting for Kiorein at designated ballot collection site" Afirmed Campaign-o Bot 5000 as he exited through the front door of the Hq. There he was met with a strange sight: Some sort of large gun with robot legs. "Sir would you like a Kiorein Keverth Electoral button?" The political machine asked. Robogun Version 4.0 beta responded by unleashing all of it's ammunition on Campaign-o bot destroying it. Ted was killed in the crossfire. Robogun then departed. Hours later Incompetent police officer one was dismayed at the violent spectacle in front of Kio's campaign hq. "What happened here?" He asked. "Eh probably a murder-suicide" Posited Incompetent police officer 2. "That story checks out" Replied officer one and they drove off. That next morning Kiorein would be notified by the police of campaign-o bots suicide murder. MEANWHILE Schnnisply was busy planning his campaign strategy with a bunch of pretentious green party assholes when hitler broke the door down. "SCHNNISPLY ZEE ARE GOING TO RUN FOR FUHRER AND VICE FUHRER OF WHEREEVERWEARE! SEIG HEIL!" He shouted obnoxiously loud. Then he looked around. "WHO ARE ZHESE JEWS?" Edited by Stairmaster, Jan 11 2009, 05:35 PM.
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Pregga Zexas
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Jan 11 2009, 06:18 PM Post #13 |
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Italic Veteran
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":O OMG U R ALIVE" texted Schnippshly to Hitler's cell phone. "lol ja i m i was jus pretend 2 b ded 4 lik 60 yrs" "that was typed even lazier than mine" "ja i vant a keebored fone" "u dont have 2 type with the accent or poorly spelt words" "yeah but i thought it would be more fun that way" "we could just speak in person" "but txting is cool" "your phone was probably designed and marketed by jews" "DAMMIT!" shouted Hitler aloud and threw his phone into an inappropriately placed fireplace. "What a weird place for a fireplace!" said one of the green party members. "After all, you have to burn wood to make a fire, and we're totally against burning trees here at the green party!" "In der wild zat's der only way to make heat!" snapped Hitler. "If jew were stranded in ze wilderness you would not burn wood to keep warm!?" "Trees are people too. We have to share this planet." Then Hitler had him shot. Schnippshly screamed in alarm, "Mein Furher, zat vas our campaign advisor!" "Campaign advisor? For der Nazi party? ZAT guy?" "Actually, uh..." Schnippshly paused. "Zis is der Green Party. It isht der only party I could get into and become der presidential candidate of." "Vhat happened to der Nazi party!?" demanded Hitler. "It hasht been a vhile, Mein Furher!" explained Schnippshly hastily. Hitler closed his eyes and held in his frustration. He rubbed his brow for a while, then spoke: "Isht der Green Party gut?" Schnippshly turned away nervously. "Have zey EVER won ANYZING!?" asked Hitler again. "They, uh... Do... Stuff..." Schnippshly mumbled. THEN SUDDENLY! "THE GREEN PARTY HAS MADE GREAT CONTRIBUTIONS TO PRESERVE THE EARTH FOR MEIN FURHER'S RETURN!" shouted a high-pitched voice. Hitler and Schnippshly turned in surprise to see a blonde-haired little girl wearing a Hitler Youth uniform. "Wundebar!" said Hitler. "WHO IS ZIS ARYAN GIRL? PROMOTE HER TO CAMPAIGN ADVISOR IMMEDIATELY!" shouted Hitler. "AT ONCE, MEIN FURHER!" shouted one of the green party members. Everyone in the green party office stood up and saluted Hitler, shouting "SIEG HEIL! HEIL HITLER! HEIL DER FURHER!" in unison. Hitler smiled proudly, and turned to Schnippshly. "Schnippshly, jew tease, here I sot you were leading a bunch of pansies but jew vere really leading a secret team of Nazis!" "Uh, ja! Ha ha, I totally knew zey were all secretly Nazis. Totally. I totally knew it. Definitely. Vhy vould I lead der Green Party if dey vere not secretly Nazis? Vhat am I, a homosexual? Ha ha! As if! No way!" "Shtop talking like zat." Edited by Pregga Zexas, Jan 11 2009, 06:35 PM.
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Kiorein
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Jan 11 2009, 06:44 PM Post #14 |
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Italic Legend
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Election: Day 2 Kiorein headed off to his Campaign HQ, whistling happily. He then noticed that there was some sort of crime scene, surrounded by Caution tape. He gazed upon the remains of Campaign-o Bot 5000. "NOOOOO!!!!" he screamed in anguish. "Now how am I gonna put up all these propaganda posters!?" "Looks like you should drop out of the election." said stair, wearing a false mustache. "You seem kind of familiar. Have we met?" "Ohv course not! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" "Oh. Well, go to hell, I'm not quitting! I'll just have to try harder!" At the 'Green Party' HQ. Painting was dumbfounded. In two seconds, the party went from environmentalism to Neo Naziism. "It's up to me to save the planet!" shouted Painting. "It's you!" shouted Hitler. "That's right! I have to stop you from repeating your evil actions." "...What evil actions? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!... yet." "Shut up... Hotler." A wave of giggles spread around the 'Green Party'. Tee hee, he called him Hotler. "HOTLER!? VAT IS DIS 'HOTLER'!?" shouted Hitler, outraged. "KILL ZIS JEW!" he screamed. "Come on, guys. Are you really gonna listen to a guy called Hotler?" said Painting, knowing his cunning scheme was working. "Uh, yeah," said one Green Party campaigner. They tried to shoot at Painting, but he luckily jumped out of the window and fell ten stories and then escaped. Back on the campaign trail... Kio was happily nailing outrageous posters of stairmaster on several walls. These new posters depicted stair talking to a stranger, littering and jay walking. "This plan is fool proof." |
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Pregga Zexas
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Jan 11 2009, 09:05 PM Post #15 |
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Italic Veteran
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Schnippshly looked on in confusion. "What the hell was THAT about?" "Don't you remember?" asked Kiorein. "You and Painting went back in time and Painting paid Hitler so that Painting could take Hitler's place!" "What are you talking about??? I never did that!" "Huh. Must have been some other Schnippshly." "THERE IS ONLY ONE SCHNIPPSHLY! THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" shouted Schnippshly. "Weren't you somewhere else just now!?" "Well, uh-" then Kiorein disappeared because nobody believed he was real. Hitler adjusted his collar and said, "VELL! Moving on!" "Hehe, 'Hotler'," giggled the little girl. "NO SASSING DER FURHER! YOU ARE DEMOTED!" shouted Hitler. "Demoted? To what?" she asked. "TO CAMPAIGN ADVISOR! THAT'LL LEARN YA!" "Wasn't I already campaign advisor?" "YES NOW GET TO ADVISING BEFORE I DEMOTE YOU TO CAMPAIGN ADVISOR!" "Well, Mr. President Elect, we can't just be standin' around here all day! We've gotta' get the word out about the campaign!" "Wasn't I the president elect?" asked Schnippshly. Hitler gave him the death stare that not even Captain Planet could withstand. "Uh, I mean, yeah, let's just ignore what all of the official paperwork says and make you the president elect guy suddenly." "YOU SHALL BE MY VICE PRESIDENT!" announced Hitler, clapping Schnippshly on the shoulder. "Unlike that traitor Whatshisface!" Whatshisface stood in the corner, a single tear rolling down his misshapen face. "Now, how shall we get the word out? SHALL I STAND ON A BALCONY AND GIVE A ROUSING SPEECH?" "Great idea, Mein Furher!" said Little Girl. "But first we should stick up some signs! Every successful campaign sticks up some signs." "THEN LETS MAKE SOME SIGNS!" shouted Schnippshly, smashing his fist on a table. "We already have some signs!" said Little Girl, pointing out a pile of green signs that all said "GREEN PARTY" on them. "Green Party is a terrible name!" declared Hitler. "But we already have like a thousand signs that say 'Green Party' on them. It'd be a shame to waste 'em!" "UGH. FINE," groaned Hitler. Kiorein walked towards the door of his Campaign HQ and noticed a gigantic green sign taped to the door. "'Put all of your trust in... Green Party'. That is obviously not an appropriate place to put that sign!" Then Kiorein noticed that, between the words GREEN and PARTY was the word NAZI written in marker. "Green Nazi Party!? DAMN YOU SCHNIPPSHLY!" A man in a trenchcoat and fedora walked from the crime scene towards Kiorein. "Mr. Kiorein, I've got a couple of questions to ask you about the murder-suicide. The name's Detective Dick Crowley," said the man, flashing his badge. "Murder-suicide?" asked Kiorein. "It obviously wasn't-" "Were you aware of any hostility that the robot and the security guard may have had towards each other?" "No, I am pretty sure they-" "We suspect that the soup can must have rubbed out the security guard and then decided he couldn't live with the guilt and cut his own life short." "Campaign-O Bot had a lot more bullet holes than Ted, I don't see how-" "I understand that Mr. Ted was two weeks from retirement. He's been working security for a long time. Did he have any enemies?" "Uh, maybe, but-" "We believe that Campaign-O Bot may have been an undercover assassin hired to keep Ted quiet." "Quiet about what? Campaign-O Bot was born yesterday! There's no way-" "Listen, Shorty!" snapped Crowley. "I don't need a smug idiot who thinks it's clever to waste my time, I need answers!" "I am giving you answers! It's obvious that somebody else killed Campaign-O Bot and Ted! They're both full of bullets to the body! Nobody kills themselves like that!" "So what you're saying is they shot eachother at the same time." "NO!!! Somebody else did it! You guys are TERRIBLE investigators!" "Actually, it's just me who does all the work. Everyone else is there to make the scene look really busy and important." "You!? You're obviously awful at it!" "You get what you pay for, Jack." "Get what I pay for!? FINE!" shouted Kiorein. He handed the detective a thousand dollars. "We believe a giant walking gun was sent to assassinate the robot and the guard was caught in the crossfire." "That is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what you were just saying!" "I saw it on your security camera footage." "Well why didn't you say-" "Listen, kid, I've got business to take care of," said Crowley, lighting up a cigarette because it makes him look really cool. "Good luck in the election!" he said cheerfully and left. |
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Kiorein
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Jan 11 2009, 09:34 PM Post #16 |
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Italic Legend
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"Giant walking gun... hm...." Kiorein pondered. "Robogun 4.0!" he suddenly exclaimed. "This must be the work of stairmaster!" he said triumphantly. "I'm a genius." Wallet chuckled from Kio's pocket. "Shut up, Wallet. Stairmaster will pay for this. Campaign-o Bot was my best friend..." "But he was born yesterday!" "I don't have very good friends! Anyways, stairmaster will pay for this!" .... " and Schnippshly will pay too!" he shouted as he pulled the Green Nazi Party sign off of this door and threw it into an oddly placed incinerator. "But without Campaign-o Bot, I'm gonna need help." A couple hours later... "Enolc! You'll help me out, right buddy? I came straight to you!" "But I saw you get rejected by Cooker and Instant like three seconds ago." "Shut up, Enolc! So, are you with me?" "Uh, I'm loyal to somebody else." Kiorein was shocked! He gasped and quickly asked, "Who!?" "Wait, never mind, I'm not. Sure, I'll help you!" Enolc stood up. "Great, now put up these posters." he handed Enolc and outrageously tall stack of posters. Enolc frowned and walked off. "Now, to find stairmaster and his robotic minion and prevent him from sabotaging my campaign!" Kiorein ran off and searched for stairmaster's HQ. |
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| Stairmaster | Jan 12 2009, 01:40 PM Post #17 |
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Italic's Flare
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As Kio approached the Whereeverweare Ultranationalist party headquarters he was befuddled by the lava moat. Nonetheless he crossed over the drawbridge into the ominous requisitioned middle school gymnasium. As he approached ominous organ music played. And as he entered he found Stairmaster was the one playing it. "Stair you murdered my one true friend!" Kio shouted. "No Robogun version 4.0 beta did," Stairmaster replied "But you may want to rethink your faith in Campaign-o bot as I am about to make his greatest triumph your greatest defeat!" as he pulled out a remote and turned on the bigass television directly behind them. Narrator: Kiorein Kevereth claims Stairmaster kicks puppies but are puppies really on ourside. *Cut to Instant being mauled by rabid puppies* Instant: OH GOD YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE FREE PZONES STAIR. *A bear with a chainsaw runs on screen and it fades to black right before instant is brutally mutilated by it* Narrator: Is this the sort of world you want to live in? Make the right choice and don't be torn to peices by wild animals. Vote Stairmaster Stairmaster laughed evilly as the campaign ad concluded. (OOC: Yeah I used script form for the campaign ad. You got a problem with that punk?) Edited by Stairmaster, Jan 12 2009, 04:16 PM.
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Pregga Zexas
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Jan 12 2009, 03:19 PM Post #18 |
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Italic Veteran
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Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Detective Dick Crowley immediately entered the gym uninvited. "Mr. Stairmaster, names Detective Dick Crowley," he said, flashing his badge. "I'd like to ask you some questions," he said cooly. "I'm kind of in the middle of something-" started Stairmaster. "We're here to investigate to murder-suicide of a Mister Instant and a Mister Bear," the detective interrupted. "We? There's only one of you," pointed out Stairmaster, confused. Kiorein put in, "Wouldn't it be 'Mister Fox'? I mean his name is Instant Fox and-" "I'll be askin' the questions here, pal!" snapped Crowley. "Spill the beans on the foxman and the sawbear!" "Well, you see, I was doing an attack ad on my good friend Kiorein-" Stairmaster began. "Cut to the chase, Jack!" Kiorein frowned. "I thought I was Jack." "Jack is a general term I use for guys who give me a hard time." "I could give you a hard time if you wanted." "I don't have time for a hard time, I gotta' get the word on the bearfox and the mansaw!" "That's not what you said before-" "I think I have all I need to know here," said Crowley in a satisfied tone as he lit up a cigarette and left promptly. Then Instant and the chainsaw bear walked in. "What's going on, guys?" "THE ADULTS ARE TALKING!" shouted Kiorein and Stairmaster. Bear and the Instant got droopy-faced and sullenly departed. Then the sound of a chainsaw revving and puppies barking, followed by Instant screaming, could be heard. Edited by Pregga Zexas, Jan 12 2009, 03:53 PM.
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| Friendship? More like GAYSHIP! | |
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| Stairmaster | Jan 12 2009, 03:50 PM Post #19 |
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Italic's Flare
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"Well that was strange," commented Stairmaster. "Now where were we?"
Edited by Stairmaster, Jan 12 2009, 04:08 PM.
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Kiorein
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Jan 12 2009, 04:51 PM Post #20 |
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Italic Legend
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"You'll never get away with this, stairmaster!... Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I'll repeat it for good measure. You'll never get away with this, stairmaster! I swear it!" Kiorein shook his fist in rage as he stared stair down and backed out of his HQ. Hours later, stairmaster would be horrified as he saw an attack ad of stairmaster paying the rabid dogs and the chainsaw bear for their crimes. He, of course, used stick puppets for this commercial. Kiorein was taking some time to relax and bask in his victory with a nice session of TV. Enolc walked up to him, sweaty and tired. "I put up all those posters..." he sat down on the couch next to Kio. "Excellent, Enolc. The new posters are waiting for you in the poster room." "Poster room!? You made a whole room just for posters?" "Yeah, I printed too many. Have fun putting them up!" Enolc glared at Kiorein before walking off. Edited by Kiorein, Jan 12 2009, 04:55 PM.
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