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| Escapades: Season 3 | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 14 2010, 06:47 PM (822 Views) | |
| Kiorein | Oct 14 2010, 06:47 PM Post #1 |
Italic Member
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It was yet another ordinary day's beginning at the Kevereth Estate. Kiorein was humming a cheerful tune as he watered his coveted lawn. Inside the house, Cooker was having a heated "debate" with Instant and the others. "Look, we really need to watch the news! Murderman is now President of Whereverweare because Instant died!" Stairmaster promptly ignored Cooker and continued watching a thriller action movie, which was simply a five minute loop of some guy storming a building and shooting up a bunch of people, playing for two hours. "Look, Cooker, we're just a bit tired of dealing with all this political nonsense," Khrene said. "We've been dealing with this stuff for like days, and we're exhausted," Cooker rolled his eyes dramatically. "Just because we don't like it doesn't mean we can just ignore what's going on around us. Who knows what kind of insane things Murderman will do as President!" "Yeah we can, Cooker. Look." Stairmaster replied. Then he sat there and watched TV. "Yeah, Cooker!" Instant replied. "I don't think ignoring the world around us could get any easier." Cooker threw up his arms in frustration and went outside to complain to Kio. "Kio! You agree that knowing about Murderman's policies is important, right?" "Hey, as long as nobody comes to try to bother me or take my money, I don't care," Kio said as he sprayed water whimsically. "Kio, you've been watering the lawn for like three hours, you're gonna kill all the--" "Cooker, did you know that you're annoying?" Cooker frowned intensely. Suddenly, a black van pulled up in front of the house, and out hopped a mailman. A mailman who looked EXACTLY like Kiorein, except for a mail costume! Of course, with all the Kio clones around, like Honest and Lying Kio, this wasn't particularly surprising. "Sweet! The mail's here! It's mail time!" Kiorein shouted as he did his ridiculous "mail is here" dance. Cooker raised an eyebrow. "Mail? On a Sunday?" The mailman silently approached Kiorein and drew a pistol, pointing it at him. "I've got a delivery for you," he whispered. "What kind of delivery? What's the gun for?" "A delivery of death!!" Mailman Kio shouted. "Kio, look out!" Cooker shouted. However, just before Mailman Kio would open fire, Murderman appeared! He lept off of the roof and ended the life of Mailman Kio in a hellfire of bullets. The black van sped off as Murderman fired wildly at it with his twin pistols, causing it to explode. Everyone in the house heard the explosion and all the gunfire, and a guy running on top of the roof. "Should we go check that out?" Khrene asked. "It's probably politics related, so no," Stair responded, returning to watching the movie. "Hey jerkass," Murderman said to Kio. "We gotta get out of here, there's no time to explain," "You know, there probably is plenty of time to explain right now," Kiorein retorted. Murderman ignored this comment and approached a nearby car. "Hey, what are you--" Cooker started. Murderman slammed his fist through the driver side window and hopped into the car. "Hey, that's my car!" Cooker complained. Kiorein smashed through the passenger side window to unlock the door and hopped in. Murdemran then somehow hotwired the car in seconds and started up the engine. Murderman handed Kio a gun. "This is gonna be a long day." "Wait can I go with yo-" Cooker started, but Murderman quickly sped off. "Well, damn," Edited by Kiorein, Oct 14 2010, 06:48 PM.
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Swanson 
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Oct 15 2010, 07:46 AM Post #2 |
Italic User
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Cooker sighed and went back into the house. "Guys Murder Man took Kio and went on an adventure what are we going to do!" "Shut up, can't you see we're watching Die 2: Die Again!" Stairmaster shouted at Cooker as the gang watched their favorite action hero, Dirk Rockfist beat up bad guys. Suddenly, Action Man burst through the door breaking it into pieces. "I'm bored! We need to go on an adventure!" Action Man said flexing for no real reason. Everyone replied by grunting and continuing to watch the movie when a commercial came on. "Today at the Whereeverweare Mall, Dirk Rockfist! Live and in person! Watch him beat up commie scum* and sign autographs! Today! From 2-4! Be there!! *Actual commie scum will not be in attendance" The screen would play a generic explosion as the commercial faded out. Stairmaster looked over to the clock, the time was 1:45. He looked at everyone else who looked back at him, and all at once they rushed for the door, trampling over Cooker in the process. "Looks like an adventure!" Action Man would say as he jumped through the window and ran after the gang as Cooker lay in agony. Edited by Swanson, Oct 16 2010, 05:27 AM.
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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Pregga Zexas 
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Oct 15 2010, 08:52 PM Post #3 |
Italic's Grand Marshall
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THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 1:58 PM AND 1:59 PM Our heroes arrived at the Whereverweare Mall, ready to meet Dirk Rockfist. A random man I won't bother to describe because we'll never see him again ran up to Action Man. "Action Man, what are you doing? They're expecting your appearance as Dirk Rockfist in two minutes!" Action Man rubbed his chin. "Oh, that's right! I'M Dirk Rockfist the Action Hero in several Action Movies! I'd better get to my Action Post to Action Sign autographs and Action Punch badguys!" And so he went. |
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| Stairmaster | Oct 18 2010, 03:02 PM Post #4 |
Italic Knight
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THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 1:59 PM AND 2:02 PM Boris had spent a hard life back in Dontgothere. The compulsory beat downs by the state police had been hard on his spirits and rib cage. The only thing that had kept him going was his illegally smuggled copy of Die 3: Die Even Harder. Then when he had finally snuck past the forbidden wall into the deserts of Nothingsthere he had spent six years traveling just to find Whereeverweare. Thus it was easy to conclude that today would be the greatest day of his life when he finally would meet his idol: Dirk Rockfist. Tears swelled in his eyes as he approached the autograph booth with his VHS tape in hand. His anticipation ran high as "Dirk" turned to face him "Dirk Rockfi-" He was interrupted as Action man's face turned to shock. "COMMIES TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE MALL?! NOT ON MY WATCH" He shouted as he lept through the air and felled Boris with a single punch. The security guards immediately sprung into action, as local town commerce laws forbid murder. A massacre ensued as Action man turned his fists of action on them as well. "THE MALLS BEEN INFILTRATED!?" Action man shouted as he drew a machine gun and let loose on the security guards. MEANWHILE Murderman stared intently at the road as Kiorein looked nervously about. "Alright now that we are at a safe distance I can explain to you what is going on," said Murderman after minutes of tense silence. "Great what in Joe Pyro's name is going on here?" Kiorein snapped. "As president I've discovered a conspiracy to monopolize the Kevereth bloodline," "What? Why?" "That's classified," Kiorein frowned at this response. "How?" Kiorein responded with a glare. "That is also classified," "Where are you taking me?" "To a location so classified I am going to have to ask you to step out of the car," Murderman responded as he slammed on the brakes. "This doesn't seem like a good idea at all," Kiorein complained as he stepped out of the car. "Security is security, man," Murderman said as he closed the side door and prepared to take off. But for some reason he looked about confused instead of starting the engines. "Why aren't you leaving?" Asked Kio. "I can't exit, there are do not enter signs on both ends of my car," Murderman responded, gesturing two large "Do Not Enter" signs, posted on each side of the car. "Why don't you just drive over them?" "I can't go breaking the law now that I am the president, what would the electorate think?" "You were driving on the sidewalk the whole time!" Kiorein rebutted. Murderman looked out of the window and down at the sidewalk and the trail of blood coming from his wheels. Murderman shrugged, "Everyone makes mistakes." He then got out of the car and looked around. "Who could of placed these?" His question was quickly answered as another Kiorein stepped out of the shadows wearing an orange vest. "Who are yo-" Murderman asked before being interrupted by the new Kio holding a portable stop sign up. "Do you know where you were driving?" He asked, irritated. "On the sidewal-" Murderman was interrupted again as the new Kio shoved a ticket in his face. "Pay the price or do the time," He sternly commanded. Murderman frowned and looked at the ticket. "There's no fee, just Kio's name on it," He complained. "Exactly," "How about I just pardon myself," Murderman said as he drew a gun and shot at the stranger. His eyes turned to shock as the doppelganger Kio deflected all the bullets into some guy using the stop sign. some guy would die hours later from his wounds. "This is going to be tricky," commented the astounded Murderman. |
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| Kiorein | Oct 21 2010, 01:29 PM Post #5 |
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"I'm Traffic Control Kio, and I'm your worst nightmare!" the new Kiorein shouted. He turned the portable stop sign in his hand and swung it at Murderman as if it were a slashing weapon. Murderman agilely evaded, and quickly counter attacked with two rounds from his pistol. However, the bullets bounced harmlessly off of Traffic Kio's orange vest. "Don't you know that they reinforced these vests due to a significant amount of traffic control officials being shot at for wearing these vests?" Traffic Kio said with a smirk as he continued swinging the stop sign at Murderman. Kiorein readied his gun, carefully aiming it at Traffic Kio. However, Traffic Kio, quickly spotted him and flung his stop sign at his hands, sending the gun flying out of his hand and the stop sign made a wide arc and returned to Traffic Kio's hand like a boomerang. "What... what just happened?" Kiorein asked, dumbfounded. Meanwhile, at the mall... Action Man grinned triumphantly as he finished pointlessly suplexing the long-dead corpse of a fallen security guard into a trash can. "Wow, Action Man!" Stairmaster shouted in excitement. "I like how you kept beating that guy up after he was already dead. You're incredible!" "You call that incredible?" called a voice. Everyone turned to look. 'Kiorein' drove up to them on his motorcycle. He wore an intense leather jacket, combat pants(?), slick sunglasses and had an unlit cigar in his mouth. He also had a rifle AND a machine gun strapped to his back. "This guy is a joke," he spat. "Hey Kio," Instant said. "What's with the getup? And what are you talking about? You're like almost as wimpy as Zaph," 'Kiorein' responded by picking up his motorcycle, throwing it up into the air, and then running up a wall, and jumping and doing six backflips in midair before shooting the motorcycle, causing it to explode. He then somersaulted through the air and kicked some guy in the face, killing him on the spot. Then, he snatched Stair's wallet. "Hey I didn't know you could do that, Kio, cool! Especially the part where you took Stair's wallet." Instant said. "Wait a second! That's not Kio!" Stairmaster shouted. "It's a clone!" Khrene gasped dramatically. "A clone!?! No way!" "Uh, yeah, this is like the third time. First Honest Kio, then Lying Kio, then that dead mailman Kio who was on the front lawn, oh and there was like a whole army of Kio clones," Stair responded. "Oh, I thought that was just Kio who dressed up like a mailman and got shot, "Action Man added. "Enough of this, I've got a job to do," the Kiorein Clone said in a gritty voice. Oddly enough, his voice sounded about five times more masculine than Kiorein's. "I came here because I smelled the action, but now I see that Kiorein isn't here, but there's more action not far from here," he explained to the group for some reason or another. "But before I go," he said, looking at Action Man. "I've gotta take care of this clown," he raised his machine gun at him and sprayed him with bullets, causing him to fall to the ground. Then he looked around for a second and then rattled Khrene with the machine gun too. Stairmaster and Instant stared hopelessly at the carnage. "Demmit," Action Man groaned. "Why am I so easy to incapacitate?" "I'm the real master of action," the Kio Clone said. "I'm Action Kio, and don't you forget it," then he went into a store and found a new motorcycle and drove off on it. "Also I'm off to kill the real Kiorein in case you didn't catch that," he added as he left. Stairmaster and Instant and Instant and Stairmaster gasped in horror. Instant tossed his magic cloak over Action Man, and when he removed it, he was gone! Stairmaster clapped in amusement. Instant gave him an odd look, as if questioning why people were amused by this regardless of how many times he did this or for what reason. "I just sent him to the hospital. Or into a desert. I really don't know with this thing," "Well, we gotta save Kio!" Stair shouted. Instant walked over to Khrene and rifled through his pockets before producing some keys. "We'll take Khrene's car again," And so they were off. Khrene mustered up some strength to lift his head. "Guys? Where'd you go? I need medical atten..." Meanwhile, at the Kevereth Estate... Painting kicked the door open. "Great news, guys, I acquired a... taco... hut...? Uh, Cooker? Where did everybody go?" "The mall or something," Cooker responded as he held and ice pack to his head, still hurt from being violently trampled. "Oh well, without some losers to underpay and overwork, this idea won't do any good," Painting said with a sigh, slumping down on the couch. "I'll have to wait until they get back," Meanwhile, in a significantly more interesting location... Action Kio was speeding towards Kiorein on his action motorcycle! Oh my! |
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Pregga Zexas
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Oct 26 2010, 04:48 PM Post #6 |
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Italic's Grand Marshall
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Schnippshly walked out into the street. He turned his masked head to the left, spotting Action Kio roaring towards him at a million billion miles per hour. Schnippshly turned towards Action Kio's bike, daring it to leave tire marks on him. Action Kio came to a halt a mere inch before his bike made contact with Schnippshly. "Kiorein, vhy are you vearing zat cool leazer jacket? How did you even afford zose nice sunglasses?" "I stole them. What's it to you, old man?" growled Action Kio. "Vait a minute, jew are not der real Kio at all." "I'll fix that soon enough," snarled Action Kio through gritted teeth, "As soon as you get out of my way." "Jew are going to kill Kiorein?" asked Schnippshly. "You're damn right I am," replied Action Kio with a smirk. "I vant to join jew on mein motorcycle! Ve can haff a motorcycle posse!" "Only if you don't be a vag about it," replied Action Kio, flicking away a cigarette he was apparently smoking the entire time. "Ja wohl!" replied Schnippshly, who quickly hopped onto his 1940s motorcycle and followed Action Kio into the sunset. |
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| Stairmaster | Dec 31 2010, 11:52 PM Post #7 |
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Italic Knight
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Murderman dived out of the way as an multitude of traffic cones were thrown at him and firing more rounds uselessly at Traffic Control Kio. "Our weapons are useless! " Murderman shouted as he threw away his pistol in despair. "You know you could have just shot him in the head," Said Kio who dived for his gun before being hit in the gut by a thrown traffic cone. Murderman realizing the folly of his way ran for the gun but found to his horror he was surrounded by a cordon of traffic cones. He was trapped. "Welp," He said as TC Kio approached and consigned himself to his fate. He closed his eyes just as the stop sign was being raised to skewer himself and opened them again when a shot rang out and saw TC Kio fall to the ground with a bullet in his head. He looked up and saw yet another Kio holding the gun that had caused this. "Don't worry I'm here to save you," said the newcomer. "Really?" asked Murderman. "No," Said the other Kio as he proceeded to shoot Murderman in the stomach. "MY ORGANS," He shouted as he fell to the ground clutching at his torso. The new Kio smirked as he turned to regular Kio. "My name is Betrayal Kio and I've- " was all he said before he was shot himself by the gimmick-less Kio. "MY ORGANS" "You know you probably should of shot the guy closest to a gun first. You are not very good at this, " Vanilla Kio said as Betrayal Kio fell to the ground clutching his stomach. "That's because I am not actually Betrayal Kio. I am actually Fakeout Kio," he said before bleeding to death. Kio frowned before walking over to murder man. "Kio you have to get me to a hospital, " Murderman requested. "Eh it's too expensive," Kiorein said "We can just wait for you to come back or something,". Murderman just pointed to the bullets Betrayal Kio had used and Kio realized to his horror that they were Killforever bullets. **************************************************** "Ah yes it's me and my good pal Instant on the open road, " Stair said as he drove onto a road closed for reconstruction. "What are we doing again?" Asked Instant. "Something about Kio, I think," Stair responded. "Eh that sounds like work let's go to tacohut instead," "Sounds like a plan!" Stair said as he did a wide U-turn running over several construction workers in the process. But then the car stopped unexpectedly as one construction worker grabbed the car by the front grill and lifted it into the air. Stairmaster leaned out of the window to shoot him when he looked into the workers eyes and was frozen with shock. It was Kio. |
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| Kiorein | Jan 1 2011, 12:36 AM Post #8 |
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"Kio, what are you doing lifting up the car? I was just about to shoot you in the face!" Stairmaster exclaimed. "Put this car down and then stop having super strength." 'Kiorein' stared Stair in the face and didn't budge. Instant glared at stair impatiently. "Okay see he's not cooperating, shoot him." "WAIT!" Stair shouted. "This is not Kio at all, this is a clone!" "How does that change the outcome at all? Shoot him in the-- you know what I'll do it myself." Instant leaned out of the window to shoot at the new Kio and fired several shots at him. He was hit once out of the six or seven bullets haphazardly fired, and this caused him to drop the car and stagger back in pain, clutching his shoulder. "We will settle this like men!" Stair shouted as he leaped out of the car and discarded his gun. "Pfft, screw that," Instant added as he aimed his gun. "No!" Stair stubbornly interjected as he kicked the gun out of his hand. "Like MEN!" "I'm pretty sure most men settle their problems by shooting at each other--" he started. Stair ignored this and ran at the Kio clone to deliver an incredible jump kick. To his dismay, the Kio was able to block the kick and then grab Stair, where he then held him up in the air by his neck. Then, he just sort of dangled him there. "This is uncomfortable," Stair said. "Could you put me down?" The clone did not reply. "I'll save ya, buddy!" Instant shouted as he retrieved his gun and pointed it towards them. "No idiot, if you shoot at him you might shoot me instead!" Instant opened fire. The bullet immediately hit stair in the arm. "God demmit, Instant!" Stair shouted. "Also it's getting kind of hard to breathe could you loosen your grip a little bit there buddy?" The Kio clone approached Instant menacingly. "Screw this, that could kill me after a number of hours!" Instant exclaimed as he got into the car and sped off. "Wait come back!" whined Stair. Instant rolled his eyes and reluctantly slammed the car into both of them. ===== Kiorein sloppily dragged Murderman towards the car. "I can still kinda walk you don't have to drag me like this," Murderman complained. Kiorein rolled his eyes as he opened the back door of the car and dragged him into the car. He hopped into the drivers seat and started up the engine. Just then, as he checked his mirrors as all good drivers do, he beholded a sight to be beholding! Two motorcycles approaching at an incredible speed! "Good golly gravy!" Kiorein exclaimed as he slammed on the gas. "Bikers! And those guys usually like to kill me and take all my stuff!" Action Kio smirked as he examined the car just down the road. "We've got him," he said with a smirk. "Oh, ja? How do you know that zis is heem?" Schnippshly responded. "It's my action instincts, I know that that's him," "Okay ja let's go," And so they did, in hot pursuit of Kiorein and Murderman! "Murderman, there are two bikers after us! One of them is a Nazi and the other one has gay purple hair! ...oh wait. I meant cool purple hair." "Well," said Murderman as he groaned in pain, "Isn't he probably like another clone?" "How do these jerks keep finding me!?" whined Kiorein. The motorcycles were slowly closing in on Kio's unimpressive vehicle. As Kio raced towards the hospital, the two assailants were quickly closing in on them. Within a couple minutes, they were within firing range! Action Kio drew his pistol and started to shoot at Kio's tires. "Demmit, they're shooting at us! Murderman, use your murder skills to murder them! Aren't you good at murdering!?" he shouted as he tried to evade Action Kio's adept gunfire. "Ja woh!" Schnippshly exclaimed as he rode alongside Action Kio. "Ve finally get to kill zis guy! I'm not entirely sure why I hate him, but this is still great!" "Look just shoot at him," Action Kio replied as he continued to fire. Schnippshly gave a sharp salute and almost lost control of his motorcycle, before regaining composure and cutting in front of Action Kio and shooting at the car with his luger. Then, he got bored of trying to shoot and decided to do a wheelie! "Wee! Look at what it is that I am doing!" Schnippshly shouted. Action Kio groaned and frustratedly tried to get a shot at Kio's car. "Get out of the way, old man!" Action Kio shouted. "Although that is a pretty nice wheelie, don't forget the task at hand!" "Man how are we communicating so easily in this situation?" Schnippshly pondered aloud. Just then, they came upon a traffic signal. Kiorein whizzed by the green light, but as he went through, the light went yellow and Action Kio shouted "STOP!" and quickly stopped his motorcycle, somehow stopping really fast. "I obey traffic signals, on account of how my parents died to some guy who ran a red light," Action Kio said. Schnippshly stopped as well. "Vat? But aren't jew a clone? Don't jew not haff parents at all?" "You're right! We stopped for nothing!" |
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| Khrene | Apr 4 2011, 09:04 PM Post #9 |
Italic Beginner
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Khrene somehow mustered the strength to crawl out of the mall leaving a nice trail of blood. He sputtered something the lines of "Oh God help me." "You rang?" A voice replied. Khrene lifted his head and saw 'Kiorein' wearing a light brown suit, a white dress shirt, a red tie and a pair of glasses while tossing a red "You look a little tired, why don't you have this?" 'Kio' said as he bent down gave Khrene the apple. Khrene desperately ate the apple. His bullet wounds stopped bleeding. "How does it feel to receive a gift from God?" 'Kiorein' said bending back up, throwing out his arms. "Soon that purple haired bastard shall know my power as God! He shall see my light! But fall into the darkness of hell where he belongs! The last thing he'll see are the hands of this world master, Ego-maniacal Kiorein!" Khrene got up off the ground. "Whats that now?" Ego Kio turned around. "And you! You shall be my lackey, fly-boy!" He stated. "Please, I'm going somewhere where I won't get shot-" Khrene's voice cut off a little early. The clone smirked as the sun gleamed off his glasses making his eyes invisible. "Oh I'm not asking. No one can defy my will after eating the fruit of knowledge." Chuckling, the Ego Kio pushed his glasses up his nose with his middle finger. "I grow tired of this place, let us leave." |
 Kill Me ah deer, drink me ah beer, head back to tha gun range, 'n' kill me'another deer. | |
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Swanson
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Apr 5 2011, 02:15 PM Post #10 |
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Meanwhile with the important people! Kio quickly pulled into the emergency entrance to the hospital running in to get help. "Help! My friend has been shot, he needs medical attention." "Ahem." Said the nurse at the nearby desk pointing to a sign that read "Please take a number and wait." "But...he's...dying." Kio sighed and took a number, but what number was it!? Why the number 90 of course! Sure it was a big number but there was hardly anyone here, he wouldn't have to wait long at all. "Now calling number 30, calling number 30." The nurse announced over the speakers. Kio looked back at his number and sighed again. ===== Action Kio and Schnippshly were quickly making their way to the hospital. As they pulled in they noticed Murderman's vehicle. "Look Murderman's vehicle!" Schnippshly pointed out. "Let's check it out." "Wouldn't it make more sense to go into the hospital." "Nein! Let us look in the vehicle for clues!" Shrugging Action Kio decided to go along with it they opened the back door to find....NOTHING. "How...unexpected?" Said Action Kio, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Can we go into the hospital now?" Before Schnippshly could respond however a big burly fist came crashing upon the Nazi's face. "Looks like you chose the wrong hospital." Said Action Man, posing as action music began to play in the background. "Ugh...you again, didn't I beat you up already." "Yes but unlike you, I have friends!" Action Man said flexing his well oiled muscles. "And where are these friends?" "Well...uh...they kind of left after they sent me to the hospital, but nevermind that! You shall pay!" "I don't have time for this." Action Kio said pulling out his action machine gun. "You might harm me but would you harm...you're partner!" Action Man said holding a bloody Schnippshly in a headlock. "Yes...yes I would." Action Kio then proceeded to unleash a torrent of bullets on Schnippshly. "Thanks...a lot...jackass." Schnippshly said as he fell to a bloody heap on the ground. "Well...alright then fine. You asked for it!" Action Man pulled out his twin machine guns, the fight of the century was about to begin but one had to wonder. Where was Murder Man? Edited by Swanson, Apr 5 2011, 02:17 PM.
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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| ryan | Apr 8 2011, 02:32 PM Post #11 |
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Voidwalker
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"now calling number 90. number 90?" said the underpaid nurse who happened to be Ryan. " all right i'm going on break" said Ryan as he walked outside to the bus stop to have a smoke. As he waited for the bus he began to think about his life and his future. It turns out that Ryan had just discovered a cure for almost every disease known to man and he was waiting to catch the bus to go see the president. " Man, I can never seem to catch the bus." Ryan mumbled. Ironically This would be the last thought that would go through his mind As he began to cross the street. |
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| Kiorein | Jul 5 2011, 12:47 AM Post #12 |
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As the sound of intense gunfighting rang out in the background, Kiorein and Murderman initiated a conversation in spite of it. "Kio..." Murderman started. "There's something... something I need to tell you..." "No, Murderman, don't talk, you need your stre-" "Let me talk, asshole," Murderman continued. "This is important stuff," "Oh, are you gonna talk about that stuff you kept saying was classified?" Murderman closed his mouth tightly and stared as Kiorein, as if waiting. "Okay, fine, continue." Kiorein said after several moments of silence. "Kio... I'm..." Murderman wheezed. "Your brother! ...Dickhead." Kiorein forcibly inhaled as loudly as he could. "My brother!? You're Kavrath?" "Yeah, jerkass. Can't believe you didn't recognize me." "...Well, yeah, I last saw you like fifteen years ago, and you changed your name and became a serial killer or something, is that why you keep insulting me?" "That's true, oh, how are Mom and Dad?" "Oh, they're doing fine, I talked to them a couple days ago, I'm gonna visit em next weeken-" "Wait, what were we talking about?" "Well, you reminded me that you were my bro-" "Right," Murderman said, his voice straining. "Our bloodline..." The door leading into the doctor's office swung open. Out stepped a very doctorly man, decked out in highly convincing doctor gear. He even had a stethoscope around his neck. "Good God!" the doctor shouted. "This man's been shot! Look at all that blood! And man it looks like he was getting ready to say some stuff before dying! Well, don't you worry, DOCTOR is here!" He jogged over to Murderman and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him off of the waiting room bench and started dragging him across the floor. He quickly brought him through the door leading towards his office. Kiorein let out a sigh and slumped back into his seat. "...Finally." "NURSE! Bring me 20 CCs of Pepto Bismol!" DOCTOR shouted. "Wait, what?" Kiorein sat up. "Isn't that for--" Kiorein went to follow DOCTOR. "Wait in the waiting room," DOCTOR spat with a glare, slamming the door in Kio's face. "But--" Kiorein stared at the door, standing there for a few seconds. Then, he shrugged, "Oh well, nobody with important information ever dies after being interrupted, I'll just wait for the doctor to do his work and bring him out good as new," A catchy ringtone emanated from Kiorein's pocket. He paused to enjoy the tune for a few seconds before pulling out his cellphone and answering. "Heyyy," he said. "KIO!" Stair screamed. Kiorein winced. "What is it, stair?" "What do you want from Taco Hut?" Stair said. Kio could hear Instant's voice in the background saying something like "Hang up, don't get him anything". "No, look, he'll get all pissy if we don't get him anything," Stair continued. "STAIR! Forget about tacos, people are trying to kill me, and when I say people, I mean people who are less than people -- CLONES -- OF ME!" "Yeah, we fought a clone earlier, and also we met one in the mall," "Well, you should be able to tell how urgent this is! We need to meet up if I'm gonna survive this!" "Life isn't all about you, Kio," Stair said. "We're getting food, what do you wanna eat?" --------------------- Meanwhile, right outside the hospital... --------------------- Action Man pointed two machine guns at Action Kio and unleashed sporadic gunfire at him. Action Kio adeptly evaded. Action Man flexed his biceps and shouted, "YOU WON'T BEST ME TWICE!" |
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| Khrene | Jul 16 2011, 08:41 PM Post #13 |
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Italic Beginner
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With bicep bulging Action Man jumped at Action Kio, machine guns blazing. "Muscle won't help you fire guns..." Action Kio bent backwards and everything went slow motion. Actions Man's gunfire passed by Action Kio not even nicking him. "...But sunglasses help you do kung fu!" the Kio clone smugly spouted as Action Man was passing over him, Action Man shooting him an enraged look and lowering his guns towards Action Kio. Before he could shoot that cocky face, Action Kio's back went completely parallel to the ground. Action Man felt the Kio's feet cave in his chest as Action Kio put his weight on his hands and double kicked straight the air. Action Man recovered mid air by diverting the force to back flip away from the clone. As Action Man landed the mauve marauder had pulled out twin uzis of his own and began raining our hero with bullets. Action man began waving his arms back and fourth shooting seemingly wildly. Action man's bullets homed in on to the Kio's bullets deflecting them away from their target. "Impressive, didn't think you could do that with all those muscles. I'm surprised you haven't collapsed under all that weight." Action Kio began fling his arms himself and spraying bullets that arced towards Action man. Still flinging his arms like some sort of retard, Action man easily retaliated. The two were locked in match of wild gunplay, deflecting bullets with bullets and then making those bullets bounce off towards each other and then shooting more bullets to deflect those bullets. With all the out of control gunplay people were getting shot up. The paramedics didn't have far to go but they kept getting shot, even when they tried to revive one another. With the doorway was littered with the wounded and dead to the point where you could barely see through the barricade of bodies. Action man shouted "ENOUGH!" stopped firing and dashed towards the clone full force. At full climax, Action Man could move faster than the Kio could react, and Action man landed a clean haymaker to the clone's face. Breathing heavily, the muscular mister looked down on his foe, he was still breathing but was knocked out. Out of the distant sky Action man heard a disturbing cackle. As it grew louder, the source of the laughter became more than just a spec in the clouds. Action Man's eye locked on to two people. A glints of glass, purple hair, riding a winged figure on the on bottom. "So, it seems you've defeated one of my brethren. But, can you handle the power of Lord of Lords and the King of Kings?" "Another one of you?... I thought I was done here..." "You will be done! After I, Ego-Maniacal Kiorein, shall lay you to waste!" |
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Kill Me ah deer, drink me ah beer, head back to tha gun range, 'n' kill me'another deer. | |
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| Kiorein | Jul 16 2011, 09:50 PM Post #14 |
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Italic Member
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Action Man lit a cigar, held it in his mouth for a second, and then threw it away. His incredible muscles bulged as he stared Ego Kio down. "You sure do talk big," Action Man said in his trademark gruff voice. "But with guns like these--" he showed Ego Kio his biceps. "...No amount of ego can stand up to me!" Ego Kio jumped down from his winged Khrene mount. "Oh God," Khrene whined, scratching his neck. "I told you I'm not physically capable of carrying another person on my back!" "I HAVE WILLED IT AND SO IT SHALL BE SO!" Ego Kio shouted. "Now, my minion, lay waste to this brute!" Action Man looked at them. "Um... are you really planning on having that monkey-man-thing take me on? I mean... look at him he's so puny. I'm pretty sure I watched Instant kick him around for a cool ten minutes without putting up a fight, and I mean if Instant can physically dominate you then--" "Your inane words are a waste of my time, and your voice is an assault on my senses, kill him," Ego Kio said. Khrene immediately sprang into action, jumping at Action Man and unleashing a barrage of punches. Action Man smirked and stood there and allowed the punches to massage his sensual torso. "By the power of God himself," Ego Kio said with a smirk, "Even you have the power to defeat the toughest of the tough!" Suddenly, the punches started to hurt. A lot. Khrene did an inane spinning maneuver and punched Action Kio, sending him flying into a car. Action Man quickly stood up from the deep depression in the car and shouted in astonishment: "His ego is so mighty, he can bend reality to his will!" Action Man inspected his body. "BOUNCING BICEPS, HE PUNCTURED MY PERFECT PECTORAL!" he alliterated, clutching his bleeding chest. "With a wound this grievous, I won't be able to fight!" Ego Kio let out a maniacal laugh. "How does it feel to be the puny one, you worthless clump of protein!?" Action Kio glared. "You're an asshole," Suddenly, Kiorein appeared! He pointed a gun at Ego Kio. "I don't know how you managed to slam Action Man into a car, and that's pretty cool, but it stops here!" Ego Kio looked at Kiorein and smirked. "..." Kiorein paused. "...Okay, weird. I'm going to be shooting you now..." Khrene suddenly stepped in the way. "Chrome? What are you doing?" Kiorein asked. "Get out of the way, I need to shoot this guy and kill him, since he's a clone, and clones die," "Oh, I work for him now. Against my will. Or whatever you wanna call it," Ego Kio began to chuckle, and then erupted into more maniacal laughter. "Do you see, Kiorein Kevereth!? I am GOD! My will is REALITY! And you, and your friends... your friends are nothing! In the end, they are my pawns and you are nothing compared to me! Do you understand that!? To face me you have to go through your dear friend Khrene! Can you bear to--" Kiorein shot Khrene in the face, as he soundlessly died. Then, he shot Ego Kio. The bullet blasted through his chest. Ego Kio staggered back, and clutched his face, chuckling to himself. "I am the true Kio!" he screamed. Wind started to pick up around him dramatically. Kiorein stared in horror. "Should I shoot him some more? Maybe in the head this time?" he suggested to himself. "...No, that would be too smart." he disagreed. A fancy sports car pulled up and came to a screeching halt next to Kio. The passenger door swung open and in sat a Kio clone -- in a fancy suit! It was... well, it was a clone. You can't tell them apart. "WHO YOU?" demanded Kiorein, pointing a gun at him. "It's me, Lying Kio!" the clone shouted. "Who?" "I'm like the opposite of Honest Kio, I'm the Kio who's always honest and helpful and stuff!" "How am I supposed to believe that!? Your name is LYING Kio, that means you're a liar!" Lying Kio let out a sigh. "So, you take names literally? What about Honest Kio?" "Well, his name is Honest Kio, so that means he's an honest guy, real great guy-- oh wait. You got a point there," "Please get in the car," Lying Kio said with a smile. Kiorein happily jumped in and buckled up. Lying Kio sped off. ---- "Do you think you can escape me!?" Ego Kio shouted. But they were gone. "Oh. I guess they escaped, for the moment. But nobody is outside of my reach." Action Kio stood up, finally recovering from Action Man's punch. "Hm... I hate to suggest this, but let's team up," he said, massaging his jaw. "...But first..." he looked towards where Action Man was a moment ago. But the muscular hero was gone! --- Kiorein reclined his seat and fiddled with the air conditioning without asking. "Okay, so, there's some stuff we gotta discuss," Kio said. "You'd be right," Lying Kio said. "Where's Mr.President?" "Oh, he's back at the hospital, he's probably fine though, the doctor didn't seem to know what he was doing, but I liked his haircut," "...Okay..." Lying Kio said. "Well-" "Oh, hey, can you tell me the secret of the Kevereth bloodline?" "That's classified," Lying Kio replied. Kiorein frowned intensely. |
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Pregga Zexas
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Jul 17 2011, 07:36 PM Post #15 |
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Italic's Grand Marshall
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"Kio's servants cannot die until they are done working!" cried Ego Kio, raising his hands to the heavens. Schnippshly and Khrene stood, magically revived. Schnippshly pulled out his luger and shot Acton Kio in the face. "Arsewhole!" Ego Kio rolled his eyes and raised his hands to the heavens again. Action Kio stood, magically revived, shooting Schnippshly in the face. "Dammit!" Ego Kio snapped, raising his hands to the heavens, reviving Schnippshly. Schnippshly stood, drawing his luger. "Kill... Kill!" "Enough foolishness!" cried Ego Kio, and the two combatants dropped their weapons. "We must unite to destroy all false Kios!" Action Kio glared. "What are you saying?" Ego Kio pulled his collar, thinking quickly. "I am saying that you and I are real, of course!" he said at last, smiling. "I'm just slightly more real." "No, I know I'm not the real Kio, but my job is to kill the real Kio." Ego Kio glared. "What are you saying?" Action Kio pulled his collar, thinking quickly. "I am saying that my job is to kill the real fake Kio, of course!" he said at last, smiling. "And that's not you at all." "You two are arsewholes," griped Schnippshly. "Can we get a move-on?" "Kio can get a move-on whenever the hell he wants!" shouted Ego Kio as a helicopter descended. He grabbed the dangling ladder and began climbing up. "Come, let us ride!" Khrene stared, mouth agape. "You had a helicopter this whole time??" "No, but I willed it to be so!" "Why didn't you will it befo- Nevermind." And so our anti-heroes climbed into the helicopter, ready to give chase after Kio. |
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| Stairmaster | Jul 28 2011, 01:20 PM Post #16 |
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Italic Knight
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"Now to begin the operation," said DOCTOR. "Wait shouldn't a doctor anesthetized his patient first?" asked Murderman. "You mean DOCTOR," "Why do I have to shout?" But before he could answer Malpractice Kio entered the room. "I'll be performing the operation today!" He said. MALPRACTICE KIO A kio with a medical competency level of negat- wait we don't do midpost character profiles anymore? we haven't done that since adventures? but wait doesn't adventures take place chronologically after this? fuck it this is confusing. "You can't steal patients from MY ward," DOCTOR responded angrily as he drew his scapel. "And your license to practice medicine was revoked already." "The heavens have granted me a perfect body for which to practice medicine with! You cannot change my destiny!" Malpractice kio shouted angrily as he drew his own scalpel and leaped at DOCTOR. Doctor quickly stabbed at malpractice kio but phased through him. "What does that even have to do with doing medicine badly?" DOCTOR asked before inexplicably being cut diagonally across the chest. Meanwhile back with some "main" characters "BOW BEFORE MY POWERS, NO WEAPON CAN REACH ME," Hang-glider Kio yelled as he orbited Stairmaster and Instant. "No we're not doing that," Stair said as he shot the a hole in the hang glider causing it to spiral into the ground and explode. "I feel like this day is going to be nothing but fight scenes let's go do some other plot." "Like what?" Instant ask. "Let's go see what's M is up to," Instant frowned in response. "You wanna go talk to Zaph instead?" "Good point," Meanwhile at M's house M quickly swayed in the wind only held up by the noose tied to the ceiling fan. "Well looks like he killed himself, probably because even the plot didn't care about him," Stair concluded. "ACTUALLY THIS LETTER HERE SAYS HE WAS MURDERED BY ASPHYXIATION KIO," Exposition man shouted. "Didn't you die?" Asked Instant. "DIDN'T YOU?" He responded. "Touche," "Well I don't feel like solving the mystery of M's death. Let's go get frosty shakes," Stair suggested. "FROSTY SHAKES ARE A CARBONATED BEVERAGE," Exposition man shouted. |
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| Kiorein | Jul 29 2011, 08:20 PM Post #17 |
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Italic Member
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"What, no they're not--" Instant rebutted. He grabbed for his gun, but forgot about killing Exposition Man as Stair spoke. "Well, who cares, come on, Instant. It's gonna be a good day," Stair said. "CAN I COME TOO?" Exposition Man asked. "N-" Instant started. "Do you have money?" Stair interrupted. "PLENTY! I GOT IT FROM MY JOB AS A LECTURER!" "Then, let's gooo!" Stair shouted. Instant picked up M's TV and they were on their way. --- "So, where are you taking me?" Kiorein asked, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "To the Murder House, of course," Lying Kio replied. Kiorein stared at him, fear and shock etched on every inch of his face. Lying Kio sighed. "It's just the Presidential Office... Murder Man named it, you would think you'd be used to it by now," "Oh. Yeah," Kiorein said, slumping into his seat again. Lying Kio eyed the car's mirrors, and his gaze sharpened. "We've got company! And I'm already going as fast as we can go!" Ego Kio, hanging casually out of the helicopter's open door, arm extended out, began monologuing, "Ah, we're quickly approaching the Untrue Kio, and his pitiful savior, oh how sweet will it be to finally slay him and take my seat on the throne, the throne of ... being the real Kio." He paused, and then turned to Khrene. "Monkey man! Fly the helicopter better! What are you doing?" Khrene sat petrified, gripping the helicopter's controls. "I-I don't know how to fly this thing, we could crash any--" "Enough! Do as I say, I have willed it, and now you're an ace helicopter pilot!" And so he was. And now he had cool aviator goggles. But he still wasn't cool. Because what do you even need those for in a helicopter? "Ready the guns, Nazi-man!" Ego Kio commanded Schnippshly. Schnippshly gave a sharp salute and manned the helicopter's turret station. "Action Kio, compliment me," Action Kio stared at him, his face tightening with resistance. But it was no use. "You are a very attractive man, and you have... nnng... you have great fashion sense..." "Oh thank you!" Ego Kio replied, chuckling a little. "Keep going," Action Kio let out a despaired groan. How could a man as great as he be reduced to this? "They've opened fire!" Lying Kio shouted, trying to maneuver out of the way of turret fire. ---- DOCTOR staggered back, an unrealistically high amount of blood gushing out of him. He quickly reached into his pocket and produced a salve, which he covered his wound with, and made it stop bleeding. "Man good thing I don't waste this on patients!" he said. He readied his scalpel and ran at Malpractice Kio, thrusting it towards him. Malpractice Kio parried with his own scalpel and quickly slashed at DOCTOR. DOCTOR evaded quickly and slashed at Mal. Kio once again. Mal. Kio phased through him again, and DOCTOR quickly jumped back. "You're good!" Malpractice Kio said. "But not good enough!" He lunged at him, and quickly slashed at his hand, sending the scalpel flying out of it and skidding across the room. DOCTOR looked at it, and then back at Mal. Kio, his teeth clenched with desperation. Malpractice Kio smirked and punched him in the face, sending him flying back and into a wall, leaving a huge hole. "Now that that's taken care of... I have a surgery to botch," he raised his scalpel above Murderman. Murderman closed his eyes and turned his head away in anticipation... |
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Pregga Zexas
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Jul 29 2011, 11:16 PM Post #18 |
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Italic's Grand Marshall
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A bus rammed through the wall of the office, flattening Malpractice Kio. Murderman stared, mouth agape, as the door of the bus opened, revealing a familiar face. "Bus Dri-" Murderman began before being cut off by an utterance from the mysterious savior, though he was given a reassuring wink. "I will always be watching over you," said the blue-hatted figure before closing the door and driving off, creating another gigantic, bus-sized hole in the wall. "Wait, I'm still injured!" Murderman cried out. "Badly!" A humanoid shape entered the room, wearing a long trenchcoat and a hat covering its face. "Hey, Mister President, wanna' buy a medkit?" The raspy man's glowing eyes peered out from under his hat, waiting for an answer. "Who are you?" Murderman asked warily. "I'm Agent Passer, head of your secret service, of course. So you wanna' buy one or not?" "If you're the head of the secret service, why do I have to pay you to heal me? And where have you been all day?" "OK, I'll give you half off my cheapest medkit, but that's it." Murderman stared at Passer. Passer stared back. "OK, fine," grumbled Murderman as he pulled out his murder wallet. |
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| Stairmaster | Jul 30 2011, 01:44 PM Post #19 |
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Italic Knight
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Murderman pressed the M on his murderwallet causing spikes to pop out. He then threw it at malpractice kio as he climbed out of the rubble. The wallet embedded itself in the false-doctors skull and he was no more. Passer turned around to see what had transpired while murderman simply grinned. "You can keep the change," He said. "That's incredibly stupid," --- Lying kio desperately climbed the murderhouse gate as the helicopter shot at him. The vice-president-mobile lay burning on the road. "If only there was another character in this show who also had access to a helicopter," Kio lamented as he jumped off the fence and they ran across the lawn. The helicopter continued to shoot at them. "Perhaps one who was also a famous african american comedian," "You exiled him remember," Lying Kio pointed out. "Oh right," --- "Okay now that I am somehow at 75% of perfect health let's head to the murderhouse," Murderman commanded. "You mean that building being attacked by that helicopter?" Passer asked pointing to the burning building down the street. "Okay let's go get frosty shakes instead," "Shouldn't you alert the military or something?" "Eh I'm sure they've got a handle on it," --- "Sir! Terrorists are attacking the murderhouse with some sort of helicopter!" The radar technician shouted to the general. "Get on the radio with the airforce and shoot it down!" The general ordered. "I can't!" "Why not?" "I have Repetitive Strain injury," The technician said before falling to the ground from arm pain. "Curse our lack of ergonomics!" Edited by Stairmaster, Jul 30 2011, 02:01 PM.
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| Kiorein | Jul 30 2011, 08:48 PM Post #20 |
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Italic Member
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Kiorein and Lying Kio clamored into the President's Office. Lying Kio slammed the door shut and they caught their breaths. "What the HELL?" Kiorein demanded. "This is a total disaster! I thought the President was supposed to be well guarded! Where's the secret service? Where's the military? How come there's NOBODY guarding this place?" Lying Kio nodded. "Your frustration is totally justified," "Damn straight!" Kiorein shouted. "But it's getting us nowhere," "..." Lying Kio sat down at Murderman's desk and quickly dialed a number. "Hey." answered the General. "Hi!" Lying Kio said. Kiorein turned towards Lying Kio, eying him. "Oh, this is Lying Kio, yes, I'm doing all right," Kiorein's gaze went blank, and then in an instant furious. "Dammit! What are you doing chatting on the phone?" Lying Kio spoke, "Sorry, just a second." he moved the phone from his mouth, covering it with his hand. "I'm calling for help, just relax!" he added, as the Murderhouse shook from the force of a missile impact. "So, um, I'm at the Murderhouse and--" "Oh, yeah, we heard it was under attack," "Oh, might I ask you where the airforce is? It's a single helicopter," "Oh, yeah, our technician can't do much right now, he's not feeling well," "Oh... any other military branches available?" Lying Kio asked. "Eeeh... well, it would be a bother... but I could call..." "Oh, no! Please, don't trouble yourself too much, I'll take care of it! I'll catch up with you later!" " :| " said Kiorein. "What was that?" "Nothing. Look, when you call for help you need to actually GET HELP!" "Oh, I don't wanna hassle people. Look, we'll be fine for the time being, the defense system is active," Suddenly, there was a banging at the door. "OPEN DER DOOR!" Schnippshly demanded. "OH GOD, THEY GOT INSIDE!" Kiorein shouted. "Please, call me Ego Kio," Ego Kio said from behind the door. There was an inexplicable explosion as the door was blasted open. Ego Kio entered, glancing about the office. "What a quaint little room," he said. He gave a distasteful glance to the framed "picture" of the word 'MURDER' sloppily written. "Hmm... but I don't think it'll do for me," "UGH, who is this asshole? I thought I shot you," Kiorein complained. Ego Kio threw his hands into the air. "I am God, can't you see? The True Kio, the only one worthy of the name Kio! Oh, and Action Kio too I suppose. For now. Isn't that correct, men?" Reluctant grunts of agreement came from his band of minions. "I grow tired of this exchange. Monkey-man, pummel him to death." Ego Kio said. "WAIT!" Kiorein begged. "Don't make Khrene beat me up! Anyone else! I could never live it down if I got beat up by Khrene!" Ego Kio replied with a smirk. Khrene stepped over and started repeatedly punching Kiorein as he fell to the ground, not resisting at all. "Lying Kio, help!" Kiorein pleaded. Lying Kio looked down at him. "Well, while I do love helping people, I can't be of much help to you right now! But don't worry, I have a plan!" "OH GOD THE PAIN!" Kiorein screamed. --- Murderman's eyes widened. "There's something I've forgotten!" he shouted. "Hmm?" Passer asked. "I left my wallet back at the hospital! And geez, this line is long," Murderman said, looking at the long line at the Frosty Shakes place. "Tell me about it," said Stair, slightly ahead of them in line. "WE ALL ENDED UP AT THE SAME PLACE FOR FROSTY SHAKES!" explained Exposition Man. "Well, fancy meeting you guys here!" Murderman said. "Well, you guys are in luck. Since I'm the President..." he quickly barged his way through the line. "President coming through!" Soon they were sitting down with their frosty shakes and letting the good times roll in. Also, Instant killed somebody. |
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7:38 PM May 21