| Recap: The Sub Chapter; From adventure of kiorein and friends | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 19 2008, 03:23 PM (259 Views) | |
| Stairmaster | Oct 19 2008, 03:23 PM Post #1 |
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The following is a prequel chapter from the adventures of kiorein and friends which is for some reason Kiorein: Nah stair, this is leagues below our current standards. HAHA GET IT LEAGUES? THE SPACE OCEAN? We'll redo the sub chapter, and surpass it. CHAPTER 1: EXPLORATION CAPTAINS LOG 1987,000 BC: MORALE IS LOW AS WE DESCENDED 50,000 LEAGUES TODAY. WE ALREADY LOST HALF OUR CREW WHEN WE TRIED TO DOCK WITH THE UNDERSEA PIZZAHUT BUT FAILED TO PROPERLY PRESSURIZE THE SUB. WE ARE STILL GETTING THE BLOOD STAINS OUT. SUPPLIES ARE RUNNING LOW WE DON'T KNOW HOW FARTHER WE'LL MAKE IT. I DON'T TRUST FIRST MATE KIOREIN OR THAT NAZI. END LOG Kiorein sighed as he mopped the floor. "Senior Paco... how I will miss you." he muttered to himself. He glanced around nervously before reaching into his pocket and popping a Reese's Piece into his mouth. Painting was busy complaining. "Stair when are we getting there? Stair when are we getting there? Stair when are we getting there?" he went on. "yeah" someguy shouted "i miss my wife and family, see these photos gus". someguy preceeded to show them to everyone. "I don't know painting. I mean this is a pretty big space ocean. It takes up half this universe so it will probably take a while!" Stairmaster explained. For some reason the ship shaked. "Huh that was odd," Painting raised an eyebrow, "Space ocean? You mean--" he was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot. He looked over at where he heard the shot from. It was just Kio killing some guy. He turned back to stair. "We're using a sub to go through space? How is there any water pressure? This is impossible." "19th mate painting I don't tell you how it's impossible that you are just a complex chemical reaction that can comprehend the universe around you so shut up and dispose of some guys body. You have just been promoted." Stairmaster reprimanded painting. "KIO WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM. WE NEED TO PRACTICE NOISE DISCPLINE SO THE SOVIETS DON'T FIND US!" Stairmaster discplined to kio. Meanwhile, Instant was listening to the radio. "Oh hey I love this song!" He said before turning it all the way up. Stairmaster stared in belief. "INSTANT IT'S THE YEAR 1987,000 BC WE HAVEN'T INVENTED RADIO YET. ARE YOU USING INTERNET RADIO BECAUSE THAT IS RETARDED!" He shouted. Meanwhile the radar started picking something large moving towards the sub. "Oh, sorry", Instant said before putting the radio away. "Hey what's that blinking thing?" He pointed at the radar. "I dunno last mate instant. Technician is that some sort of pong?" Stairmaster questioned. While the crew was distracted, Kio snuck back into his room. He locked the door behind him and walked over to his bed. He pulled out a small, hidden box and opened it. Kiorein was hiding a P'zone on board! He sniffed it for a moment to enjoy its aroma before putting it away. THAT BASTARD! I'LL KILL HIM! After Painting finished dumping some guy's corpse out of the garbage chute, Painting noticed something large moving towards the sub. He came running to stair, "Captain, there is something large moving towards the sub!" Zaph pointed out the obvious, "It must be what was on the radar! I'm the technician so since I said that everyone should be surprised!" "SO IS THIS LIKE SOME SORT OF VIDEO GAME?!" Stairmaster responded still not getting it. Suddenly the command officer visit sirens activated. "IT'S THE ADMIRAL OPEN THE DOCKING HATCHES" Stairmaster commanded killing the 25 people stationed there due to a sudden change in pressure. "IT'S ADMIRAL OMEGA SNAIL!" Stairmaster revealed as he pointed to the security camera monitor of a snail entering the sub. "OH GOD IT MUST BE ANOTHER INSPECTION!" shouted Kiorein. Painting yelled in anguish as Joe died, "JOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE" he yelled. "OH S*** AN INSPECTION?" Stairmaster screamed. "INSTANT PREPARE A NICE DINNER FOR THE ADMIRAL, IF ONLY WE HAD SOME SORT OF PZONE TO FEED HIM!" "I'm on it!" Instant headed off, using his super P'zone finding nose to search fpr any P'zones onboard. Kiorein gasped in horror as he saw Instant begin to sniff for P'zones. "I'm done for!" he thought to himself. Painting held his dead friend Joe in his arms as he shouted to the heavens. Obviously noone cared but Painting went on with this scene for at least 30 more minutes. Stairmaster then ran down to the docking hatch to meet with the admiral. He nearly tripped over joes dead body. "Hello admiral, don't worry about third mate joe I think we can bring him back to life, but only him due to some miracolous conditions" Stairmaster greeted to the snail with spikes covering it's shell. Unfortunately the snail then exhaled lasers burning joes corpses into ashes. "Well I guess we won't be seeing joe again" Just then Instant showed up, holding Kio's Box. Unfortunately, It was empty. "Uh...well you see...I found it, but I was attacked! and Pirates stole it from me...or something." Painting yelled in anguish again as he ran Joe's ashes through his fingers whilst shouting "WHYYYYYY" Most likely anyone nearby would tune it out. Kiorein walked up, chewing something. "Sup guys" he said in a muffled voice. "YOU FOOL NOW HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FEED THE ADMIRAL," Stairmaster reprimanded instant. Then he crouched down to listen to the admiral omega snail. "Oh god, he wants our casualty reports," Stairmaster revealed dramatically. Zaph walked up with a large packet, with the big bold red letters "Casualty Report" printed on it. Kiorein's eyes went wide. "OH GOD AN HONEST CASUALTY REPORT, STOP HIM!" Instant Shot Zaph "Only Zaph and Joe, sir!" some guy's corpse drifted by a window. Kiorein closed the curtains. "Yup, just Joe and Zaph, sir. Well look at the time, looks like you should be leaving." Unfortunatley the admiral lasered kio and instant in the legs and snailed towards the report. The snail looked at the reports and reboarded his sub and deattached from our heroes sub. Unfortunately this caused it to fill with water. "He said the losses are acceptable guys!" Stairmaster said as he was thrown against a bulkhead and knocked out. One of the bulkheads then fell on war prisoner shalaska who was killed. Now there could be no prisoner transfer! Chapter 2: Analyzation "Hey guys...I have an idea!" Instant said, ignoring the deadly water. Thirty seconds later, Kio was dressed up as the prisoner. Meanwhile stairmaster had been miraculously dragged out of the boarding area by roberto who then died of exhaustion. "Hmm kio is a good cross dresser," Stairmaster commented as he woke up. "I dunno about this idea, I mea-" he was quickly punched by M. "Shut up. You're doing this for the team." Painting shook Zaph, "ZAPH COME BACK TO LIFE AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO STOP THIS WATER FROM FILLING THE SUB" too bad Zaph was dead. "Looks like it's up to... M!" M smiled and walked over and in a fantastic display of skill, he drained out all the water and closed up the sub. He crossed his arms and unleashed a cheesy confident grin. "Guys, I think something got in the submarine while it was filling with water," said ruldopho the security guard who was one week from retirement. Just then back at the boarding area and shark with boxing gloves punched M in the face. M was knocked down by the punch. He sat up with an angry glare as he wiped the blood from his cheek with the back of his hand. "You're in for it now!" he stood up but was soon punched down again, where he began to cry from the pain. Right before the shark was about to curb stomp M Rudulpho ran down the hallway and shot the shark with his gun. Unfortunately in a display of supershark strength the shark caught the bullet and threw it back at Rudulpho at an equal velocity, hitting Rudulpho in the heart. "Damn just a week before retirement" Rudulpho remarked. M's eyes widened in horror. "No! Rudolpho! Hang in there! Don't die on me!" Rudolpho then promptly died. "Idiot." he stood up and glared at the shark. "It's time for revenge!" he was quickly punched again and was sent to the floor crying again. "Hey guys I've got another splendid Idea! I'll just open the sub so he can get sucked right back out!" Instant began slooowly reaching for the door handle. The shark then picked M up and began punching him down the hallway, intill they arrived to the dramatic walkway above a large pit. M stood up and prepared to fight back. He stepped back and pulled out his trusty yo-yo. He swung it at the shark. "Take this, you fiend!" The shark then grabbed the yo-yo and threw it back at M's head intending to knock him over the walkway into whatever deadly(AND I MEAN DEADLY) hazard was below. Meanwhile Stairmaster shot instant in the arm with his service pistol before he could open the door. Instant fell to the floor. "OH GOD" He shouted before crawling to the phone and dialing 911#. "Hello? Yeah I'd like to order 2 P'zones. Okay yeah, thanks." He then hung up and waited. Stairmaster screamed in horror as the phone could be traced by the soviets. Stairmaster proceeded to shoot instant in the other arm as well. "OH GOD" Instant screamed again. He then walked over to the door and checked his watch. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" Screamed stairmaster. "Waiting for the P'zones to get here. Want one?" Instant asked "you fool the docking brig is ruined! THE PIZZA HUT GUYS WILL NEVER MAKE IT THROUGH ALIVE" Stairmaster revealed shockingly. meanwhile m and the shark were still fighting. M managed to regain his balance as he didn't fall off the edge. Unfortunately the shark continued to punch him. "GOD DEMMIT SOMEBODY HELP!" he shouted. "Painting to the rescue!" Painting shouted. "But first I have to finish this bagel." He slowly ate a bagel. The shark then grabbed M and pile drived him into the catwalk repeatably causing the support beams that were holding the walkway up to weaken. "Why did they even put this hazard in here!?" M shouted in pain. Painting was halfway done with his bagel. "Hmmm..." he walked over to the fridge and got some cream cheese and started slowly putting it on his bagel. He ignored the cries of pain from M. Kiorein stepped forth to aid M. He aimed his slingshot at the shark and fired a stone at its head. Unfortunately kio missed and hit a support beam causing the walkway to collapse. Painting heard the walkway collapse as the camera zoomed in on his face as he turned to see it. Dramatic music began to play as he took a step and then continued eating his bagel. M used his Cosby Signal in a last ditch effort to summon Bill Cosby to aid him. To bad, y'know, they're in a submarine far away from Bill. Kiorein saw that he screwed up and walked away whistling. Suddenly from out of nowhere Bill cosby appeared, deactivated his stealth suit and leap across the walkway grabbing M and slicing the shark into peices. The shark then promptly exploded because sharks brains are made out of dynamite. Infact it exploded multiple times. Then bill cosby landed on another walkway carrying M. "Why don't you just stick with jump ropes jimmy?" He complained as he then disappeared into the night and escaped by a scramjet rowboat. Meanwhile stairmaster had been taking a nap, "What happened?" M sighed, "Nothing stair, I was just brutally assaulted by a shark. Oh and hey too bad Instant killed Zaph, he was the only doctor on this sub now I will go into a coma because of my several concussions." Painting walked up having finished his bagel. "Oh, look, M survived. Man, I'm hungry. Did anyone order some Pizza Hut?" "Yes,but the docking brig is too damaged for us to risk the lives of those brave pizza hut men!" Stairmaster explained. Suddenly the lights went out. CHAPTER THREE: ESCALATION "WHAT THE HELL?!" Stairmaster shouted in shock and suprise as he was shocked. "Quick to the nuclear reactor!" He ordered. When everyone arrived they found thomas the nuclear reactor guy lying dead on the ground. He had been dead for weeks! Stairmaster examined the corpse. "He died of some mysterious tumor? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!" Stairmaster screamed as uranium dripped out of the reactor. M thought for a second, "Well maybe we could ask Zaph OH WAIT INSTANT KILLED HIM." Kiorein rolled up his sleeves and said, "Don't worry, I've got what it takes." Minutes later Kiorein was dead and the reactor was even worse off. "Perhaps god did not intend for man to use the atom for his own benefit," Stairmaster monolouged as he tossed a blanket over Kioreins dead body. "Okay so now we are going to have to get someone to use the bicycle generator. Who shall it be?" Instant Punched M and shouted "Tag you're it!" before making a break for it. Stairmaster then shot instant in the leg with his service pistol. Then he realized that instant wouldn't be eligble for the bicycle generator. "God damn it!" Instant fell to the ground. "OH GOD WHY...WOOHOO TAKE THAT M" "Well we have to make sure you are inelligible," stairmaster said as he shot instant in the other leg and both of his arms. M sighed and got onto the bicycle generator and started pedaling. "Y'know, I still need medical attention from NEARLY BEING BEATEN TO DEATH by a shark." "Shut up" said Jeff who had a wife and kids. "hay i have a family 2" some guy added as he came back from the dead. unfortunately he still had the bullet hole and died of blood loss and medical complications. Then Schnippshly the time-travelling Nazi appeared. "NO IT'S OKAY GUYS you can just leave me in the last story by myself trying to find Kiorein to kill him so I can get pizza for like THREE HOURS but you were all here already and I could not have possibly found Kiorein," he complained. "You looked for three hours and gave up?" panted M as his brain bled internally all over the place. "NO JERK FACE I LOOKED FOR THREE HOURS AND FOUND A NOTE FOR BILL COSBY SAYING THAT DER STORY MOVED!" he snapped. "I NOTICE THERE WAS NOT ONE FOR ME!" BUT THIS CONFUSED EVERYONE ELSE! "Haven't you been here the whole time? I thought you were the Nazi in the captain's log," said everyone. "No... IT WAS I!" declared a voice from the shadows. Out stepped Adolph Hitler with his hands behind his back and his mustache properly squared. As Hitler approached the group, Stairmaster wrote in his captain's log how much he did not trust that Nazi. Hitler revealed his hands, and within them he held a p'zone. "It's a p'zone," he whispered as he sniffed it. "But I love hitler!" Stairmaster exclaimed. "It's henrich himmler I do not trust! He can go f*** himself,". then himmler went to run off and cry. "So schnisply how did you get on the submarine?" "I went back in time to when everyone was leaving and, since I already knew they were leaving thanks to my knowledge acquired in the future, I snuck on board. Even though I would have been allowed on board I thought it'd be cooler to sneak on board. Ja." Then Schnippshly stepped out of the shadows and broke Schnippshly's neck. "Little did Schnippshly know, I saw him, unaware of the fact that everyone was leaving, and followed him. He did not tell me that everyone was leaving so I killed him. Just now. For the sake of being dramatic." Unfortunately then the shipped shaked as a torpedo peirced the hull drownign everyone in the karoke brig, all 40 of them. Chapter 4: Conflictation "NO, NOW NO ONE WILL KNOW OF MY BEAUTIFAL VOICE!" Captain stairmaster screamed in horror. "OH GOD" Instant shouted as he returned fire onto whatever shot them "INSTANT STOP SHOOTING THE WINDOW FOOL YOU'LL GIVE AWAY OUR LOCATION TO THE SOVIETS!" Stairmaster shouted as the window broke and the whereveer they were filled with water. CLEARLY SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE DEADLY LAVA PIT ROOM TO GET TO THE TORPEDOS! Schnippshly went to the future and got a lava suit and went back in time to the submarine. "Hey," asked a generic crew member, "If you traveled through time, how did you go somewhere else to get that suit? Wouldn't you stay in the same place but be in a different time?" Schnippshly drew his luger and blasted the crew member dead. "In der future, someone walked into this room with a lava suit." Then a generic crew member (#2) walked into the room carrying a lava suit and said "I hear someone needed a lava suit?" Schnippshly then appeared in the present, and shot the generic crew member (#2). "I need this lava suit in der past!" Then Scnippshly shot Schnippshly in the back. "It's okay, we've already got one." Then Schnippshly handed both lava suits to M. "If you wear two lava suits at once it'll be way safer." "Schnisply god damn it we only have like 12 crewmembers left, you, me,instant, m,painting, hitler, himler, and the redshirts er I mean other essnetial crewmates. We can't have you going around shooting everyone!" Stairmaster complained before he shot the window causing the crack to widen and fill the room with more water. M continued pedaling. "Guys, how am I supposed to put on these lava suits and power the sub at the same time?" Painting munched on a bagel. "Find a way." Stairmaster then stroked his chin in thought. "What if we use m's body as a torpedo? Himmler you must risk your life for us!" "But zis is dangzerous!" Himmler objected. "What speak english and go down there!" stairmaster ordered as he disposed of the lava suits. "Not enough crew members? POPPYCOCK!" shouted Schnippshly. He went into the past and came back with 25 crew members. "Did you take all the crewmembers from the past, leaving the submarine of the past dramatically undermanned?" "Sure did!" "I'D SURE HATE TO BE IN THE PAST!" Then the 25 crew members panicked because they didn't want to be in the future where everyone was dead and the submarine was flooding and M of the past saw himself with concussions and screamed "OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!?" Schnippshly handed unconscious M to M of the past. "Go with Himmler and shove this in the torpedo launcher!" Meanwhile the ship kept flooding. Honest Kio suddenly appeared, carrying two torpedoes. "So, I heard you needed torpedoes." Captain Stairmaster replied, "Well, yes." Honest Kio chuckled, "Well, hows about a deal?" After some fierce negotiations, stairmaster received two torpedoes. Unfortunately, he had to give up ownership of the sub to Honest Kio and give Honest Kio the title of Megacaptain, which was like 1000 times the Captain stairmaster was. In addition, the hull was repaired at the cost of stair's soul and his baseball card collection. M punched Schnippshly. "Take us back to the past, not only is this confusing but you're also creating a bunch of Time Paradoxes! I HATE TIME PARADOXES!" Honest Kio started walking off, "Stair, don't screw up my sub" he ordered before he disappeared. Unfortunately as honest kio left through the docking brig it suddenly bursted open and he drowned to death. Meanwhile stairmaster taped M to one of the torpedoes as he suddenly got his soul and ship back. "You have to go now other M!" He shouted with utmost urgency as another torpedo fired taking out the onboard pizzahut that was already unmanned due to supply shortages. Unfortunately for stairmaster as Honest Kio drowned he had some discussions with the ocean and he wasn't drowned at the cost of stair's soul. Stairmaster screamed in shock as the food pantry was destroyed by another torpedo! "HURRY HIMMLER!" "I'll handle it!" Instant produced a lava suit, put it on Himmler and then pushed him into the lava room. "You forgot the torpedos!" Stairmaster screamed as he shot instant in the arm and prepared to shoot him in the head. Unfortunately he ran out of ammo from shoot instant so many times. Instant fell to the floor. "AUGH, I'D THROW IT IN AFTER HIM BUT YOU SHOT MY ARM" "RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" Stairmaster in extreme rage threw the torpedo not carrying m in the lava room fast enough to cause it to explode filling the lava room with water and the whereever the hell we are brig with vapor that would probably burn our skin off. CHAPTER FIVE: BATTLIZATION Schnippshly, the only man prepared for this because of his full-body suit designed to help him out in the deadly trenches of World War 1, leaped to protect Hitler. "NEIN! TRAITOR! MEIN P'ZONE!" he shouted, shoving Schnippshly away. Then the vapors, so unbelievably hot they were, boiled his skin off. REVEALING ROBO HITLER!!!!! "I am still totally the same person except a robot," Hitler said, smelling his p'zone. "It's still a p'zone," he whispered sensually. Luckily stairmasters didn't have skin so he was alright. Stairmaster then proceeded to close the door. Himmler tried to swim through the lava but because it vaporized into an intense amount of steam he burned to death because it was a lava suit not a vapor suit. BUT HE WAS ROBO HIMMLER SO IT WAS OKAY! But then he got rusty and his joints locked up just before he pressed the "fire all the torpedoes at pizza hut" button. Unfortunately the soviet sub then noticed the sound signature of rusting to death and launched a torpedo at the torpedo brig probably killing himler. "Well we are screwed... UNLESS WE CAN GET TO THE SHIPS SHRINE AND SUMMON THE SPIRIT OF THE SUBMARINE!" Stairmaster monolouged. "I don't feel like doing that," said Hitler, "Because I'm totally a Christian and I can't covet my neighbor's deity." "Damn it hitler!" Stairmaster shouted as he summoned the guy from castle wolfenstien to fight him. Stairmaster then ran down the stairs to the shrine. Then Schnippshly scratched his head and didn't know what to do about anything! He could save robo Hitler from B.J. Blackowitz but it wasn't really Hitler so he didn't really care. As stairmaster descended into the core of the submarine he was faced with it's guardian: MAMMA LUIGI. "You go to hell!" Lugi shouted as he shot a green fireball at stairmaster. Stairmaster quickly dodged and shot at luigi with his empty service pistol. Then 80th mate Mario leaped in. "F*** you, Luigi! It's a STONE" he said as he started firing his machine gun at Luigi. Then Luigi threw his football at Mario, crushing his rib cage, puncturing his lungs so he coughed up blood and drowned on his own internal body fluids. Then the king appeared out of a hallway of light "TRIFORCE OF COURAGE" He shouted as he threw the mystical triangle thing at mario reviving him. "Hooray, I'm alive!" said Mario. Then Luigi threw another football at him and Mario died. Luigi then swung his fists of fury at the king. The king grabbed luigis fist and crushed it with his own might and roundhouse kicked luigi in the face. After you DIE, then we can talk about STONE!" "Enough of this!" shouted Painting as he stole the King's Triforce of Courage and Dinner when he wasn't looking. He tossed a plate of Spaghetti Bagels to distract Luigi, and finished him off with a gunshot when he wasn't looking. M, who was conscious now, walked over to Mario's corpse and knelt beside it. "He was amongst the greatest. HOLY HELL THIS HAT MATCHES MY JACKET AND HAS AN M ON IT." he put Mario's hat on his head and laughed. Soon the ship began to flood as the lava began to cool, no longer evaporating the water. "COME ON GANG WE'VE GOT TO ACT FAST BEFORE THE SHIP FLOODS!" Stairmaster commanded. “Mah boi you must die!" The king shouted, perturbed by the thivery as he punched a hole in the hull of the ship in an attempt to kill everyone by speeding up the flooding. M laughed! He was an expert at fixing floods and leaks! "I'll handle this!" he said. Unfortunately, a large piece of metal fell from the ceiling and crushed him. Painting pointed a gun at the king. "Stair, run and fix it, I'll hold him off!" he began wildly firing his gun at The King. The King noticed the annoyance of the bullets and faced Painting. He threw a Dinner at him, knocking him down. COULD THIS BE THE END OF PAINTING "It is written only Link can defeat painting" Squaddallah guy announced. "Yeah I'll grab my BOMBS" Link shouted in joy as he threw bombs and lamp oil at painting. Meanwhile stairmaster made it to the shrine. The narrator guy said "Last time, we saw Khrene he was jumping onto white base. BUT, it was only virtual reality training for his true mission... TO DEFEAT METAL GEAR HITLER!!!" "WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!" Xon screamed. "Khrene is the one play Solid Snake! HE'S NOT THE SLIGHTEST BIT STEALTHY" "What makes you so special Xon?" Khrene replied. "I CAN STEALTH!! Plus Snake snaps people necks! Can you do that!?! I can!" "O rly? Then why don't you show me." Xon stealthed behind Khrene and snapped his neck like a twig. The competent POLICE came and chased Xon with their SWAT GUNS as he ninja-ed away. "Well... I guess it's up to Jofir..." said the narrator guy. "YAY!" Jofir exclaimed. "Now we find Jofir at the Shrine mindlessly playing a Game Homie... that isn't turned on..." He says before he face palms. Jofir looked up "Oh hey." he then Jofir continued playing. "Wait... Are you Metal Gear Hitler?" Schnippshly then used his time machine and grabbed Jofir. Then Schnippshly took Jofir to the sub and pointed at Robot Hitler. "It is written that only YOU can help prevent forest fires," said squadellah guy. "ZERE HE IS. Right zere. Go get him." Then Schnippshly leaped on squadellah guy's magic flying carpet and kicked him in the teeth. "CAPTAIN STAIRMASTER IS TAKING AN AWFULLY LONG TIME TO GET TO THE FREAKING SHRINE!" Schnippshly shouted. The narrator guy called Schnippshly on his codecÔ "Schnippshly! YOU'VE CREATED A TIME PARADOX!!!" The time police came to get Schnippshly and his they asked him. "Sonnie, what do you have to say for yourself?" … Meanwhile, Painting was struggling to fight off Link and The King. M used his last bit of strength to activate his Cosby signal one last time, to call Bill Cosby to pull the debris off of him and destroy Link and The King. Bill cosby appeared as blocked the bombs and redirected them at the rubble blowing it up but setting M on fire. Using his physical proficency bill cosby ran dodged all the bullets of dinner the king tossed and grabbed m and tossed him at the king. The king caught on fire and stepped into the lamp oil causing a huge blaze. Panicking the king ran into link who was still carrying bombs and promptly exploded killing him and the king. Then bill cosby punted m into a flooding portion of the sub to extinguish him. Bill cosby then pulled out his sword and went down to the shrine… Schnippshly screamed "NOOOO!" as Schnippshly teleported away with Jofir. "WE NEED HIM TO DEFEAT ROBO HITLER!" Robo Hitler sniffed his p'zone erotically. "NOW HE WILL KILL US ALL!" Schnippshly cried as he snapped squadallah guy's neck. "Truly we are now totally screwed." Time Paradox Jofir (TPJ) charged and shot a giga renzair at Robo-Hitler and his P'Zone hoping to fry it beyond edibility. "Colonel told me that P'Zones are highly conductible to electricity!" M stood up and drained the floods and patched the holes. "I'm the greatest! The greatest!" Unfortunately another shark with boxing gloves showed up and started beating him up. Noone cared. Painting blinked as he witnessed Bill Cosby totally annihilate everyone. He ran after Bill Cosby to help him. ********************************************************* CHAPTER SIX: REALIZATION "No I am not metal gear hitler," stairmaster said as he shot at jofir right as he was whisked away by time traveling schinsply. "THAT GOD DAMN NAZI!" Garbage man walked up from behind stairmaster, clapping his hands slowly. "It's been a fun ride, stairmaster but it's finally over. You're not going to summon that spirit of the sub." he used a magnet to pull stair's gun to his hand and he crushed it with his mini compactor. BUT SUDDENLY BILL COSBY EMERGED FROM THE HALL WAY. "GARBAGE MAN YOU COMPACTED MY UNCLES BICYCLE!" Bill cosby said as he brandished his sword. Garbage man laughed, summoning a compactor that appeared around Cosby to crush him. "If you thought you could ruin my plans, you're mistaken." Then bill cosby snapped his fingers as the underwater bus driver bursted through the sub wall and crashed into the compactor causing it to jam. "Something caused my pzone to fall over!" Bus driver complained. Bill cosby winked at garbage man. "MOOOOOOOOOCH!" screamed Schnippshly, tossing the burning, crackling p'zone at the bus driver. "NOOOOOOOOO! MEIN P'ZONE ISHT RUINED!" he shrieked, exploding in disappointment. "Order up," said TPJ as Robo Hitler blew up before his very eyes. Unfortunately the burning pzone bounced off the bulletproof windshield. "Good thing I still have my pzone!" The bus driver exclaimed happily as he proceeded to reverse over stairmaster as he ate it. Then the p'zone opened up. Rather than containing cheesy goodness, it actually contained A THERMONUCLEAR BOMB!!! Then bill cosby threw a dagger at the red wire disarming it. Whilst Bill Cosby was distracted, garbage man summoned one additional compactor to crush Bill Cosby to death. As everyone's hero died, Garbage Man let out a horrible laugh. "You're all my puppets! Dance puppets dance!" M got punched near him by the shark and he used the blood to summon the spirit of the sub. "Before I turn this sub into my ultimate weapon, how about I explain my ultimate plan? I ripped the pressurization pages out of the manual, causing you all to fail to pressurize the sub properly! I also sabotages the nuclear reactor, had Boxing Sharks follow the sub, and the rest wrote itself. I waited until your numbers dwindled and I could gain full control of the sub! Spirit of the sub," he took a deep breath before giving it a command. Meanwhile the shark continued to beat up M. TPJ screamed "ROBO-HITLER IS DEAD! WOOT!" This casued a fanfare to play and an EXP screen to show up, temporarily blocked everyone's vision. "Sweet, I leveled up... Hey wait a minute..." Jofir realized that his Game Home was not on, he looked at Bill Cosby "My beloved idle why would you commit such a travesty to me!?" Jofir accidentally pressed the on switch and his Game Homie turned on "Yayz! Thanks Bill Cosby!" And Jofir threw a Tea kettle flame thrower that came from his hair to Bill. Schnippshly rolled his eyes. "All of that to control this sub? You've totally destroyed it! It's like completely ruined. W-T-F could you possibly do with it besides stay in it while it sinks?" Then Garbage Man kicked Schnippshly into the space sea. Garbage man uttered his command, "Transform into undersea compaction unit." the sub underwent a massive transformation and became a mobile compactor that could move through the space sea with ease. It went and compacted the soviet sub that hadn't been doing anything for several minutes. Painting got tired of watching the shark brutally murder M, as he stabbed it in the heart. "What are we gonna do now? The vague mission has been destroyed, it's over." M was dead from the attack from the shark. Garbage man waved a hand at the remaining heroes, "Begone, I left the escape pod intact, you don't have a chance." he laughed insanely. Then bill cosby stood up glowing. "Theo in life nothing is ever over intill it's over," he explained as his hair turned gold. "It's over for you garbage man!" Stairmaster shouted as garbage man killed him somehow in a way befitting of a garbage man. The stage was set for the final battle! Meanwhile, Instant had grabbed some of the boxing shark blood and was heading to the shrine of the space-sea compactor-ship-sub. Meanwhile Painting was taking the escape pod and leaving. Garbage man laughed. "You really think you can beat me?" Suddenly, Constant showed up. "Don't give up hope!" He took the shark's boxing gloves and put them on. Apparently they weren't an organic part of their body. Like hermit crabs. You know how hermit crabs find their shells. Anyways. Constant began showering Garbage man with punches while Bill Cosby got ready. "that reminds me of my good ol friend mike tyson!" Bill cosby said. "He would be all like punch punch and zip zop you'd have to dodge his attacks" Bill cosby elaborated. Then it struck him, he never did beat punch out. If he couldn't beat punch out what chance did he have against garbage man? "Mah boi, aid him!" A ghostly voice rang out! "Take the triforce of courage!" "King?!" "Mah boi Garbage man must die!" the king commanded. "OBEY KAYBE" Bill cosby shouted as he dashed at garbage man intending to kick him in the face. Garbage man fell from Bill Cosby's mighty kick. He stood and used his portable compactor to crunch his head. "Hahah! Take this!" he shouted. Unfortunately saiyajins have a 50+ immunity against being crushed. Bill cosby proceeded to punch garbage man in the face. "You'll have to do better than that to get the edge on your old man theo!" Jofir saw the Revived Super Saiyan Bill Cosby and gazed in awe. TPJ gazed as well, before he started sing "The Ultimate Showdown" and was shot and killed by Some Internet Dewd. Instant reached the shrine while everyone else was busy. "It is finally time for my plan to come to fruition!" He used the shark blood to summon the spirit of the shrine. Unfortunately it came in the form of a boxing shark and punched him to the ground. As Instant lay on the ground he gave the spirit his command. "Make this place into a Pizza Hut!" The giant under space-sea compactor-sub then became a giant under space-sea pizza-hut-sub. "I guess all's well that ends well!" Bill cosby stated as he dropped dead because the only thing keeping him alive after that crushing was his own will. "Remember that with jello pudding now you can have your hand do other things!" Bill cosby revealed with his dying breath. And then the jellopop mascot was dead. Garbage man shouted "NOOOOOO" as Cosntant finished him off with a punch and he exploded. Constant died in his horrible tragedy. EPILOUGE: FINALIZATION. Jeff laughed and smiled as he called his family to inform them that he was safe! He indulged in the delicious P'zones that appeared. "I'm sorry jeff but you died, allowing you to live would cause a time paradox" Colonel Roy Campbell revealed as he shot Jeff over the telephone traumatizing his children. Jofir's ADD kick in and he completely ignored SS BC and went to the counter of the space-sea pizza-hut-sub and asked for three P'Zones and 20 twizzler. The cashier responds "Sir I am sorry but all the Pizza Hut were told not to serve you twizzlers." "WHAT!!!" Jofir picks up the guy and electrocutes him. Then he notice that P'Zones were appearing from the ceiling so he throw the guy and ate some. The narrator guy appears behind Colonel with a gun pointed to his head. "thats my line in this RP bub. Now leave or I'm blowing your head off." "I don't think so," said the colonel as he turned around and pulled off a mask ALERT! ALERT, the submarine intercom rang. "CODE RED WE ARE GETTING TO CLOSE TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE OCEAN!" The intercomm announced. Before anyone could comprehend what was happening the sub exited the space ocean that took up the left half of the universe and fell into the vaccum. Spelling a long and slow death for it's occupants! In the end, Painting was the only survivor. After months of traveling and living off of his stolen Dinner, he reached land and sold his stolen Triforce of Courage to make a fortune and live happily ever after. Until he was eaten by a computer. The end. Edited by Kiorein, Oct 19 2008, 06:21 PM.
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| Kiorein | Oct 19 2008, 05:49 PM Post #2 |
Italic Novice
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We've come a long way |
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| Stairmaster | Oct 21 2008, 12:41 PM Post #3 |
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more like we've uncome a long way. geddit? because we suck more. |
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| Kiorein | Nov 26 2008, 04:27 PM Post #4 |
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Italic Novice
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And in a flash of light, the P'zone Khrene was about to enjoy disappeared! As did all the other P'zones on Earth! "Aww..." said Khrene. "I guess they failed to stop that Magikoopa from making his diabolical wish." "WTF was that!?" demanded stair. "You could have forced the chao to give you ANY wish and you chose to get rid of the one thing that we all love!?" "Hehehe. It's that I do." replied GT. "Well, how do we kill this guy? GUNS DIDN'T WORK LAST TIME!" shouted Kiorein. Cooker thought for a second. "Hold on, I'll check my pocket sized legend book!" Cooker pulled it out and began flipping the pages. "Wait. I think GT here made an error in his wish. He only wished for P'zones here on Earth to be destroyed," said Mofir. "Oh yeah like there are P'zones in space," said GT. "Actually, there are!" said Cooker. "I read of them while training to work at Pizza Hut!" "..." "Also, here it is in the book; the Magikoopa's fatal weakness is capes! They stop its magic from working!" "He's lying!" said GT. "IT'S IN THE BOOK!" retorted Cooker. "THE POCKET SIZE BOOK OF LEGENDS!" "Wait, how are we supposed to go to space?" asked Painting. "I know a way..." said stair, putting on his captains hat. "TO THE SPACE SUB!" "Yeah! We gotta find the P'zones!" said Kiorein. "AND YOU GOTTA HELP US!" he added, pointing at GT. "What makes you think I will help you guys? I could kill you all right here!" "We know your weakness! And I have a cape!" "..." So they ended up at stair's space sub. "What are you guys doing near my space sub?" asked Zaph. "IT'S MY SPACE SUB!" yelled stair. "Actually, no, it's mine." Stair pointed a gun. "OK You can use it." After that, everyone's memory went a little blurry...
"Stair I want to raise concerns that there could be major leakage in four different areas of the sub," said Zaph. "Well, then fix it!" snapped Captain Stairmaster. "I would but YOU LOCKED ME IN A CAGE FOR BEING A 'NERD'!" "Have you learned your lesson?" "WHAT LESSON?" "You aren't coming out of that cage until you have learned your lesson!" said stair as he wheeled off. Meanwhile, Kio was in the sub's kitchen with GT. "GT make me a sandwich." Kiorein demanded. "No." replied GT. "GT. Sandwich. Now." he said. "Hey! Don't talk to His Koopaness that way!" shouted Enolc. Kiorein shot Enolc. He promptly died and then Enolc walked up. "Clean this mess up!" yelled Kiorein, pointing at Enolc. Enolc glared and started cleaning up the dead Enolc. "Anyways GT, sandwich." said Kiorein. "No, Kio, No. Make it yourself." "I HAVE A CAPE!" he yelled. GT muttered something under his breath and slapped together a sandwich. Kiorein took a bite. "MAYONNAISE!? I said NO MAYONNAISE!" "No you didn't!" "Well now I did!" "I am going to my room." said GT as he floated off in his floating cloud. "God demmit now what am I supposed to eat." Cooker turned around. "I've cooked plenty!" "Gotta hell Cooker," |
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| Stairmaster | Nov 26 2008, 07:11 PM Post #5 |
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: | why this be in the recap thread? |
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| Kiorein | Nov 26 2008, 07:12 PM Post #6 |
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Italic Novice
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What, would you have preferred a new thread for the new sub marine chapter concept? 
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| Stairmaster | Nov 26 2008, 07:13 PM Post #7 |
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Yeah. This seems stupid putting a new rp in a topic in a forum for old rps. |
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| Kiorein | Nov 26 2008, 07:15 PM Post #8 |
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Italic Novice
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What made you think this was a new RP? |
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| Stairmaster | Nov 26 2008, 07:20 PM Post #9 |
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The fact it wasn't the part of an old rp. |
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Pregga Zexas 
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Nov 27 2008, 12:02 AM Post #10 |
Italic Beginner
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Oh snap! Burn! |
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| Stairmaster | Nov 27 2008, 01:54 PM Post #11 |
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WE MUST BE PLAYING TENNIS CAUSE YOU GOT SERVED. |
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| Stairmaster | Nov 27 2008, 01:54 PM Post #12 |
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OH GOD I DOUBLE POSTED WHYYY
Edited by Stairmaster, Nov 27 2008, 01:54 PM.
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7:48 PM Feb 4